forgive me for not posting in awhile.. life has gotten super crazy..
I will be back before you know it tho!!!
xoxo
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Thought for the day (stolen from a friends fb status)
"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you're meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are in yourself and others. May you use the gifts you've received and pass on the love that's been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love."
Anything more would be redundant.
Anything more would be redundant.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
A kick in the Ask...
So I have a confession. Ive been getting bored. Ive been sticking within my points but using them for garbagey food. Im not sure if its been because mother nature is here this week or what, but I am starving. Every minute I feel like Id like to eat a horse and spit out his hooves. Ive been filling my snacky hands with 1 pt popcorn, veggies, apples.. water and the go-to items. Yesterday, I didnt eat all day because the only things i wanted to eat were shitty garbage food. Is this suppose to happen? Is this the hurdle that Id always get too and then start eating crappy again and gain it all back? Ugh. I hope not. Thankfully this time I REFUSE to let that happen. Those 30 pounds were alot of work!!! And now that they are gone, I dont ever want to see them again. Its unfortunate that there isnt a "superfood" to help with damaged will power. We have the acai and blue berries and veggies galore that help us restore our bodies.. What about our willpower?? cant there be like a fat free, calorie free food that tastes like homemade bread fresh out of the oven slathered with butter, pizza, and chocolate cake with choc frosting?? In a capsule? I mean i guess my body does like to eat more healthful foods than not healthful. But when I am craving stuff (which I have been due to this week) alll I want is something I pry wouldnt even eat more than once a week if I wasnt dieting. Only i want it every day.. for brekkie lunch and dinner. its kind of sick. Today Ive only had a bowl of special K with unsweetened almond milk and some ice tea. Its so sunny out that all i want to do is grill up some ribs and some potatoes and steak and yummy delight. But Im scared that something cartoonish will happen... Like ill just pick up the whole grill, open my mouth, and swallow it whole.
Doesnt seem practical.. but lets face it, I am an eater.
It doesnt take much to make me want to falter.. if I hear someone else has went out to lunch or grabbed something off plan and tasty.. I IMMEDIATELY start to justify it. Like well if they are..then I could too and then just walk more or exert more./. and the rationalization begins. So far, Ive put it at bay. But Im disappointed that Ive used alot of my points for junky choices. Like cheese.. it costs me SO many points for like a handful of it. So not worth it... but I really wanted it the other day. SO I took 8 points for cheese. i could have had like a smart one and a fruit AND something else. I guess that is part of the beauty of WW, but its also part of the fact that Im trying to get rid of the bad eating habits.. or the eating for comfort habits... that got me in these plus size jeans to begin with.
I am nothing without support. And GOD he SO knows this (obviously). Like for example.. this has happened more than once.. Ill be in the middle of rationalizing away about how I should go here for lunch or make this and splurge on that for lunch.. and I will see someone who I havent seen in quite awhile... and they will compliment me on my weight loss or tell me that they read this blog and all of a sudden I get a reality check that HELLO!!! That burger aint worth it. Itll taste good for the 3 minutes max it takes me to eat the 4 inch circle, but then Ill feel yucky and be sad that I didnt utilize my points better.
I guess we all want this to happen overnight. But we didnt gain it overnight, right? It was years and years of bad choices and not enough activity that caused our fat cells to get greedy and start hoarding that water. But sometimes when I think that I have at least another 2 sizes to go, minimum, and another 5th grader that Id like to lose in body weight.. as much as Ive gotten cheers from people, and notes frmo people, and compliments from my hubs, I cant help but feel discouraged because in our modern society.. Im still a failure. if you didnt know I had already lost 30 pounds youd look at me and think.. wow shes alot bigger than in highschool. If you then found out I had just lost 30 pounds.. maybe youd be even more mortified. A girl I went to hs with told me the exact thing.. she said.. wait till you start losing and youre still looking at yourself like you look like a cow and here 30 pounds heavier you didnt think it was all that bad. Its called fat goggles. We get so used to seeing ourself a certain way, and then we start to accept it. But when we start to change our bodies for the better, we start realizing how we were on the road to ridiculousness.. with no end in sight.
Anyway.. thanks for letting me vent. Im in this to make you all proud too! I may have hit a little mental roadblock.. but I am in this to WIN this.. so back to hacking away at the jungle of diet and weightloss.. That cleared path of mindless eating and junky splurging might look easier.. but Im just not an easy kind of girl any more :) Im a little more like MacGyver.. only without the 80s mullet and the ability to make an airplane out of some dental floss and popsicle sticks.:)
xoxoxo
Doesnt seem practical.. but lets face it, I am an eater.
It doesnt take much to make me want to falter.. if I hear someone else has went out to lunch or grabbed something off plan and tasty.. I IMMEDIATELY start to justify it. Like well if they are..then I could too and then just walk more or exert more./. and the rationalization begins. So far, Ive put it at bay. But Im disappointed that Ive used alot of my points for junky choices. Like cheese.. it costs me SO many points for like a handful of it. So not worth it... but I really wanted it the other day. SO I took 8 points for cheese. i could have had like a smart one and a fruit AND something else. I guess that is part of the beauty of WW, but its also part of the fact that Im trying to get rid of the bad eating habits.. or the eating for comfort habits... that got me in these plus size jeans to begin with.
I am nothing without support. And GOD he SO knows this (obviously). Like for example.. this has happened more than once.. Ill be in the middle of rationalizing away about how I should go here for lunch or make this and splurge on that for lunch.. and I will see someone who I havent seen in quite awhile... and they will compliment me on my weight loss or tell me that they read this blog and all of a sudden I get a reality check that HELLO!!! That burger aint worth it. Itll taste good for the 3 minutes max it takes me to eat the 4 inch circle, but then Ill feel yucky and be sad that I didnt utilize my points better.
I guess we all want this to happen overnight. But we didnt gain it overnight, right? It was years and years of bad choices and not enough activity that caused our fat cells to get greedy and start hoarding that water. But sometimes when I think that I have at least another 2 sizes to go, minimum, and another 5th grader that Id like to lose in body weight.. as much as Ive gotten cheers from people, and notes frmo people, and compliments from my hubs, I cant help but feel discouraged because in our modern society.. Im still a failure. if you didnt know I had already lost 30 pounds youd look at me and think.. wow shes alot bigger than in highschool. If you then found out I had just lost 30 pounds.. maybe youd be even more mortified. A girl I went to hs with told me the exact thing.. she said.. wait till you start losing and youre still looking at yourself like you look like a cow and here 30 pounds heavier you didnt think it was all that bad. Its called fat goggles. We get so used to seeing ourself a certain way, and then we start to accept it. But when we start to change our bodies for the better, we start realizing how we were on the road to ridiculousness.. with no end in sight.
Anyway.. thanks for letting me vent. Im in this to make you all proud too! I may have hit a little mental roadblock.. but I am in this to WIN this.. so back to hacking away at the jungle of diet and weightloss.. That cleared path of mindless eating and junky splurging might look easier.. but Im just not an easy kind of girl any more :) Im a little more like MacGyver.. only without the 80s mullet and the ability to make an airplane out of some dental floss and popsicle sticks.:)
xoxoxo
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