Ugh Kroger..again you disappoint me.

Hi.
I'm Bre.
Nice to meet you....again :)

So.....Im back and Ive made new and exciting improvements :) Well Im WORKING on new and exciting improvements. Im trying to transition my WW daily points into a 70% raw lifestyle. For my first week I switched most of my daily snacks over to fruit, veggies, or popcorn (I know, its cooked- but Im not going cold turkey here). Had a couple small hiccups as I had guests over for 5 days so of course I was cooking up a storm to keep them happy and well-fed. But overall.. it wasnt a bad week. I got on the scale today and I weighed the same as the last time I had weighed-in.. which was like a month ago. Yikes. I know. Shame on me. I was so desperate to make the 40 pound mark by my bday party that I barely ate that week or drank for that matter. You can tell from my pics at the party.. at the beginning of the night im looking ok and by the end you can tell my cheeks are puffed up more than usual from all the DRINKING and eating i was doing. And then it just went on to turn into a WEEK of leftovers eating and pizza and drinking and uggggggggggggggggggggggggh... same old me. Same me that Im used to dealing with that I thought I had gotten rid of. But wow.. it only took some nasty eating for a few days and I started to rationalize it all again. So heres to you huge roadblock.. you won that time.

So......having thought about how I was for some reason getting stuck (even tho I have loads to lose still) I thought about eliminating some of the tasty snacks I was having (altho within points) and replacing them with regular old fruits and veggies. Also..starting my day out with a smoothie really seems to keep the hunger at bay..so I figure Id throw a smoothie in there at some point which makes my kids happy as well (and they dont even mind the veggies in there!)

I also read about a chocolate lovers diet in my mothers wonderful "womans world" she accidentaly left here (dont worry, she called to make sure I knew it was here and to save it for her lol) So I was also thinking about maybe getting crazy and trying that for a month and posting the results here too. I might as well turn it into a damn science experiment because to be honest with you.. i was getting BORED! I was eating the same stuff and snore snore...I wasnt blogging (sinner) and I was totally talking myself into shitt food choices and doing the minimum amount of exercise I could. Ugh.. sometimes I hate me.

But I digress...

So to do this fat girl gone raw transition, I need all sorts of grains and yummy fruits and veggies and agave and this and that and guess what?? KROGER has like 4 things I need. Their organic section is a frickin JOKE and its right by the wine aisle all by itself in a little kiosk. half of the stuff was reduced because who in the hell eats organic in imlay city where most of the people grow their own veggies and would rather remove a liver than pay 5.99 for a box of organic cereal. So I maybe able to score some good deals, but I also have to plan a trip down to Whole Foods. Its like an hour drive so Im hoping one day this upcoming week I will make it. If not, then it will have to be the week after next because the week after turkey day week , Tony and I are going on a mini vaca..(insert choirs of Angels singing)... and I want to look my best for that trip so Im hoping the raw foods Im substituting will start working their magic awfully quickly and Ill be a wrinkle free fox.

hahahaah............mommy always said I had an imagination!!!

Till tomorrow sweet readers..

Forgive..

forgive me for not posting in awhile.. life has gotten super crazy..

I will be back before you know it tho!!!


xoxo

Thought for the day (stolen from a friends fb status)

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you're meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are in yourself and others. May you use the gifts you've received and pass on the love that's been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love."

Anything more would be redundant.

A kick in the Ask...

So I have a confession. Ive been getting bored. Ive been sticking within my points but using them for garbagey food. Im not sure if its been because mother nature is here this week or what, but I am starving. Every minute I feel like Id like to eat a horse and spit out his hooves. Ive been filling my snacky hands with 1 pt popcorn, veggies, apples.. water and the go-to items. Yesterday, I didnt eat all day because the only things i wanted to eat were shitty garbage food. Is this suppose to happen? Is this the hurdle that Id always get too and then start eating crappy again and gain it all back? Ugh. I hope not. Thankfully this time I REFUSE to let that happen. Those 30 pounds were alot of work!!! And now that they are gone, I dont ever want to see them again. Its unfortunate that there isnt a "superfood" to help with damaged will power. We have the acai and blue berries and veggies galore that help us restore our bodies.. What about our willpower?? cant there be like a fat free, calorie free food that tastes like homemade bread fresh out of the oven slathered with butter, pizza, and chocolate cake with choc frosting?? In a capsule? I mean i guess my body does like to eat more healthful foods than not healthful. But when I am craving stuff (which I have been due to this week) alll I want is something I pry wouldnt even eat more than once a week if I wasnt dieting. Only i want it every day.. for brekkie lunch and dinner. its kind of sick. Today Ive only had a bowl of special K with unsweetened almond milk and some ice tea. Its so sunny out that all i want to do is grill up some ribs and some potatoes and steak and yummy delight. But Im scared that something cartoonish will happen... Like ill just pick up the whole grill, open my mouth, and swallow it whole.

Doesnt seem practical.. but lets face it, I am an eater.

It doesnt take much to make me want to falter.. if I hear someone else has went out to lunch or grabbed something off plan and tasty.. I IMMEDIATELY start to justify it. Like well if they are..then I could too and then just walk more or exert more./. and the rationalization begins. So far, Ive put it at bay. But Im disappointed that Ive used alot of my points for junky choices. Like cheese.. it costs me SO many points for like a handful of it. So not worth it... but I really wanted it the other day. SO I took 8 points for cheese. i could have had like a smart one and a fruit AND something else. I guess that is part of the beauty of WW, but its also part of the fact that Im trying to get rid of the bad eating habits.. or the eating for comfort habits... that got me in these plus size jeans to begin with.

I am nothing without support. And GOD he SO knows this (obviously). Like for example.. this has happened more than once.. Ill be in the middle of rationalizing away about how I should go here for lunch or make this and splurge on that for lunch.. and I will see someone who I havent seen in quite awhile... and they will compliment me on my weight loss or tell me that they read this blog and all of a sudden I get a reality check that HELLO!!! That burger aint worth it. Itll taste good for the 3 minutes max it takes me to eat the 4 inch circle, but then Ill feel yucky and be sad that I didnt utilize my points better.

I guess we all want this to happen overnight. But we didnt gain it overnight, right? It was years and years of bad choices and not enough activity that caused our fat cells to get greedy and start hoarding that water. But sometimes when I think that I have at least another 2 sizes to go, minimum, and another 5th grader that Id like to lose in body weight.. as much as Ive gotten cheers from people, and notes frmo people, and compliments from my hubs, I cant help but feel discouraged because in our modern society.. Im still a failure. if you didnt know I had already lost 30 pounds youd look at me and think.. wow shes alot bigger than in highschool. If you then found out I had just lost 30 pounds.. maybe youd be even more mortified. A girl I went to hs with told me the exact thing.. she said.. wait till you start losing and youre still looking at yourself like you look like a cow and here 30 pounds heavier you didnt think it was all that bad. Its called fat goggles. We get so used to seeing ourself a certain way, and then we start to accept it. But when we start to change our bodies for the better, we start realizing how we were on the road to ridiculousness.. with no end in sight.

Anyway.. thanks for letting me vent. Im in this to make you all proud too! I may have hit a little mental roadblock.. but I am in this to WIN this.. so back to hacking away at the jungle of diet and weightloss.. That cleared path of mindless eating and junky splurging might look easier.. but Im just not an easy kind of girl any more :) Im a little more like MacGyver.. only without the 80s mullet and the ability to make an airplane out of some dental floss and popsicle sticks.:)
xoxoxo

Attention mommies...

Well and daddies too.. well honestly anyone that likes to eat or drink :)

So if you havent seen it, the Krog has Welch's 100 percent grape juice on sale for 2.49. There are 1.00/1 and 1.00/2 coupons out there... some even hanging on these giant 64oz bottles of grape delight.

I went the other day and bought 12. And Im not done. I will go again before monday and buy 10 more. I cannot beat it for 2.00 for a giant jug of actual juice and not watery juice with sweetner. And yes, I am that mom. For the first month I was buying big boxes of juicy juice 100% juice boxes for anthony and Dom to take to school. But the other kiddos like them too and they were killing that box off waaaayyy to fast. They run about 10 bucks a box or at the base I can get them for 7 ish. So now, after someone finishes a mini bottle of water, I have been recycling them into homemade juice holders for snack and lunch. thankfully, my son is still too young to be mortified by this and Ill keep on sneaking it in there until he complains. Hey.. if you want to use allowance and birthday money for juice boxes, I wont argue :) So get in there and get some of those jugs. And some raspberries for the freezer as they are 10/10 again. Normally about 2.50 for the same tiny package and they freeze well. Ok , Im done soap boxing about my love of stockpiling. One day.. you will love it too :)

Second note before I make some lunch for the clan over here.

Today is Anthony's birthday. He is 6 years old!!!! First off, I cant believe it has been 6 years~ then again, if I think about it, it seems like just yesterday that he was born. My mom came down because they had stripped my membranes and had scheduled induction for the 30th at 7. But by midnight of the 6th, I was starting to have contractions (or what I thought to be).. and by 2:30a she had talked me into showering and having Tony take me to the hospital. After all the paperwork and changing and settling in, I found out I was already dilated to a 5! So soon after, the blessed epidural woman came in (didnt do a great job but it took the edge off) ... and a few hours later after 20 minutes of pushing.. we had a beautiful baby boy. And, he really was beautiful. He was all of 8 pounds, nice ounces of chubby, cherubic, full lipped, some hair, beautiful skin tone bundle of joy. And I know. Im his mom. Of course he was gorgeous to me. But Im also honest. For those of you that know Dominic now, you know he is the cutest, prettiest little lady killer of a 4 yr old.. complete with dimple. But when he was born.. at 7 pounds 1 ounce, 3 weeks early. He looked like an alien. I mean an adorable alien blessed with 10 fingers and 10 toes and everything in the right spot. But an alien, none the less. After a few weeks of the boob juice he was well on his way of fattening up and being much less E.T ish. But I digress.
I remember bringing anthony home for the first night. And I was so scared. He was crying anytime I laid him down in his bassinet. Thank God my mom was there. I kept thinking to myself.. who entrusted ME with all this responsibility?? How can I be in charge of another life? And such a little, and fragile one at that??
Sometimes when I look at him now, I still see that little meatheaded baby. His birth hair ended up falling out so he was bald for quite awhile and the new hair was quite blonde so even tho he had hair.. it didnt look like it. He did have the most beautiful ice blue eyes and his daddys smile. He was a very tolerant baby too.. Id load him up and we'd be off getting tools or supplies for daddy... delivering stuff, going out to dinner with friends, shopping, or just hanging out. Him and I had 13 whole months together before The Dom cheese came along.. and those are 13 months I will treasure forever. Maybe he remembers the time that it was just him? The days of singing and playing in his old navy bat pjs?...The time when he wore a tuxedo to our wedding when he was 6 months old? I sure hope so... because to me, those are some of the best memories of him that I will never forget.

Happy Birthday Beez :)
Love you to the moon and back!

Thirty? Thirty. Thirty? Thirty. THIRTY????!! What?! Really!??!?!?

30.

Funny how its a number Im starting to dread coming up on my birthday here in a month and a half or so.

Its also a number that makes me squeal like a suckling pig off to the slaughter.

This week at weigh-in. I was down 3.2 pounds. Those pounds let me get up and over the thirty pound mark. I'll admit it. I ran out into the living room in my underwear. And as scary of a thought that that may be, at least its a 30lb less scary thought. I think my husband thought it was his lucky day (love is blind after all), as I came cruising out into the sitting room clad in just black undies. "whoa whoa whoa...what are you doin?" I said "come see". He walked (briskly) into the bedroom where Im sure he saw the scale and put two and two together....I showed him my weigh-in log that Ive been very dedicated in writing each weeks weigh-ins into, and monthly totals... and then made him look at the scale.

Thirty before thirty.

Wow. Im telling ya people.. if I can do it..ANYONE can. And admittedly.. it wasnt that bad. Time still passes.. no matter if we are doing something to improve ourself.. or just doin the same stuff weve been doing. 30 pounds came off with healthy choices.. but also with getting to eat out with friends, making tasty food and learning to trick our minds and bodies that we are full when maybe we arent as full as we are used to being.

Can you imagine what the next 30 might be like? Can I imagine buying jeans in a size I havent even thought about since I was 18? Wow.

Gone are the days where Im used to failing and being ok with it. Failing is EASIER than accomplishing stuff. Yelp.. guess I cant do it. Yelp guess Ill start next monday. Yeppers.. Ill just binge one more day and start again tomorrow. Guess what.. it was actually MORE difficult to spend the whole damn day JUSTIFYING why we ate what we ate, or why we chose to over eat/over drink/over indulge.

Whew.. that certainly clears up alot of time to actually focus on ourselves, follow our plan and manuever thru the road blocks that life, kids, dinners and peanut m&m's throw at us.

Looks like making ticktock time for OURSELVES.. actually benefits others with all the free ticktock time it gives us to put forth towards overall good. If Im not eating stuff and wasting time defending to myself why it was ok, or feeling tired and lousy because im loaded up with sugar and fat.. then wow wow wee wow I am an actual particpating and needed part of the family. Go flippin figure!

Alright loves, I need ya now more than ever as I figure the weekly poundage loss may start to slow and the frustration and disappointment will loom only to be egged on by halloween candy, birthday treats, thanksgiving delights blessed and given to us from Our Provider and xmas treats from he who ho ho ho's
.
If you see me flailing and floudering about-----> call me on it.

55 days to go till the big 30.

Fifty-five? yes. Till Im Thirty? yessum.

We gots some work to do. :)

Gold and Silver..

Short post tonight... more to come tomorrow am.

I caught up with an old friend over the weekend. Altho it had be a while since we've gotten to chit chat.. it was as tho we just saw each other yesterday. The thing is about friendship.. distance doesnt hurt it, time between visits doesnt shake it, and an occassional hi, how are ya, text can do just the trick even if it is few and far between. Old friends understand you, even when you dont talk, they read your mind sometimes even before you think. Some days when youre feeling blue..youll get a random text from them or a super sweet card as IF they knew you needed a little boost to get you through the day. When you just answer that call, its as if youre just continuing a conversation youd been having all along.. even tho you havent spoken in months or so. Old friends are heartwarming. I hope I'll be considered an old friend to someone at somepoint in my life.

Lesson learned from girlscouts.. about 23 years ago:

Make new friends, but keep the old...
Some are silver, the others, gold.

Even tho Im writing this.. Im actually asleep.

Whew. I am tired. Tired in that cant keep my eyes totally open, really want to lay down on the couch with a blanket and the weinergirl, please let it be bedtime asap.. kind of tired. You wouldnt think it would be like this. Afterall, 5 days a week now from 7:10 until 3:30ish I am T-minus one of my offspring. That should reduce my workload by 25%, therefore improving my energy. I will admit tho, that there is definetly a different dynamic here in the house during the day. Rocco and Anthony arent constantly trying to claw each others eyes out, fist fight, punch and run, or the old standby bite and pinch, each other so that part is refreshing. We are all still getting used to Anthony being gone... Dominic, Tony and I have all yelled out "Anthony!" when there was something we wanted him to see, or hear, or when its lunch time. I cannot imagine what it will be like in 3 years when I have all 4 of them in school! I mean I understand my day time will be freed up from diapers and the lunch and snack and play/craft routine, but I am SO sure it will be filled up with more grocery shopping for more lunches, snacks, school projects, and laundry to the moon and back. Just thinking about how quiet it will be kind of freaks me out. Im so used to hustle and bustle and talking and babbling that Im not sure how Ill handle it all. I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there :) Till then.. I better just enjoy every day I get these 3 kiddos at home cause soon enough they wont want to be sitting on my lap and giving me nose kisses. They will want me to act cooler around their friends, not kiss them and/or acknowledge that Im their mother in public, not embarass them at sporting events, etc. Soon, instead of the 4 of them all fighting constantly for the attention from Tony and I, they will be ignoring me, slamming doors, rolling their eyes at my endless affection...and becoming a teenager. Altho I am excited to see what these babies grow into.. I best gather up as many hugs and drooly kisses that I can for the time being.

Time waits for no one.

Drained.

Whew. Made it through Anthony's first week at school. Overall, it went waaay better than I anticipated. He got up great every day, was excited for the bus, and generally happy with what was going on during the day. Ill take that as a win for the D'Ambrosio household :) I was really kind of worried how he'd go so long without eating or snacks with his endless pit, but hes doing great. The house definitely has a different chemistry without him. Dominic has started to take on the role of the leader (which means trouble!). Him and Rocco were chumming around with the girl and there really weren't alot of tangled up arms or all out brawls. Must mean my babies are growing up! Tear :'( So i did some garage sale-ing this weekend and found Elliana a brand new OshGosh pink snowsuit with adorable flower print.....for 5 bucks. I about jumped up and clicked my heels together. Normally id try to barter and get it for less but I already felt like I was STEALING it from her. So I happily paid my 5 bucks and a couple other single dollars for an adorable xmas dress and pink fleece. Ohh....I just LOVE a good garage sale. You know, the ones where when you pull up theres more than 3 tables of random junk? But a whole garage full and tables upon tables just waiting to be picked over and bartered for? There is nothing worse than driving for like 2 miles to find a garage sale and then when you pull up it is either A: consisting of 3 tables of screwdrivers, old christmas decor and duck decoys. Or B: The house where its at is at the end of a SUPER long driveway.. and usually Im too scaredy chicken to pull down that drive because I soooo do not want to end up in a deep hole in his basement having to rub the lotion on my skin!!! (shudder) So here's to you... garage sale host pro fess ion al. Keep on buyin your kids full price, name brand clothes. You have great taste. Ill be back next year to fleece you again for a big bag of stuff for 20 bucks. My boys will enjoy the long sleeve Nike shirts in mint condition for $1/each, old navy swim trunks for .50/each, and for Elliana, the beautiful holiday dress it looks like you customordered from somewhere high-end ..for $2 I will gladly raise my garage sale acquired kitchy coffee cup to you... you're helping me get more budge in my budget :)

First day of Kindergarten :)

Ok for starters..

I weigh-in yesterday and was baffled to see a 4.4 pound loss. Woot woot for ankle weights and constant yard work!! Must have been the slave labor that made the fat melt :)

So today was my oldest first day of kindergarten. I feel like a kid myself because I am SO very excited for him. He is so ready for school. Hes been counting down the days for weeks now.. kind of like he does at christmas. I am looking forward to birthday parties, and friends over and that sort of thing. tomorrow will be his first day ON the bus.. and Im nervous! But Tony will follow the bus and make sure anthony makes it into the school all the way to his classroom which is at the complete opposite end of the school. Next monday, Dominic starts preschool.. monday wednesday 12-2:45. Again, very excited. Hoping I can hold it together mentally to keep track and remember all the snacks and lunch and crayons and towels and extra clothes and gym shoes. Im thinking of getting one of those magnetic calendars I can stick on teh fridge. Relying on the crackberry for a schedule system might not cut the mustard anymore. I might need more VISUAL reminders that I have to make 5 dozen cookies by 5pm. LOL!!

And it begins :)

So my goals this week are to...get my daily exercise in the form of yard work/leg weights/basketball/soccer/etc.. its much more fun/productive than 45 minutes on the treadmill and it seems to be doing the trick. Mother natures here so she better get her hot ass packed up by next mondays weigh in. Im up to over 25 pounds loss now and am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!! Its a faint light, but its a little bit of motivation that potentially I CAN reach the goal of being in better shape and more happy with my image. next mini goal.. find my 80s outfit for sure! I have a couple ideas adn a couple things but I havent found that one OMG! Like totally awesome 80s outfit;) Id best get to the sal army sometime soon. So wahts your vote?? We are on teh fence between having the party bus pick us all up OR putting that money towards an 80s band to be here playing in the heated tent.
Im sorta swinging towards band now cause I dont need a bus to take me to bars to drink...as im sure we will have loads of drinkable things here already.. but then again the purple hoopty bus would be hilarious. I dont know.. I cant decide. You decide for me!!

Or if you have any ideas on what I should wear.. Im soo open to suggestions :)

I have exactly 50 days to keep on keepin on till the partay. And 57 till the big dreaded 30. (ugh) Even when I type it I just hear the toll of big somber bells.
Must. chin. up.

Have a good day loves. Im off to my laundry abyss.

Tiny step..big leap.

Yello

So after a loooonggg week of preparation..which included alot of landscaping, flower planting, cooking, cleaning, deck building, garbage gathering, etc... I hosted my first annual end of summer party. If you have ever met my mom, you know shes a natural born host. Party planning and hosting and organizing is in her blood. She will call me from work to tell me she decided on make ahead potatoes for a party 3 weeks away. At the same time, Im still working on what to have for lunch THAT day.. let alone 3 weeks away :)

Anyway, a big thanks to all those who came and who brought tasty treats with them. that made my work load so very much lighter and I enjoyed all the company and chitchat without being completely worn out before the shin dig even began. Loved seeing some classmates from highschool that I hadnt seen in over 12 years! They were adorable! The weather was the only issue as it was FREEZIN outside :) But.. thats the beauty of fall.. to get that crisp beautiful air that lets us have the windows open, we have to sacrifice the constant flip flop wearing and don the fleece. I love fall. Adore it. I love football sundays with chili or wings a cookin.. i love the smell of halloween when the leaves are wet and the dusk is about to fall. One day, if one of my boys decides to play football, on fridays I'll be out on the bleachers with my hot cocoa and my snuggie (ill have to get one) embarrasing my offspring by yelling loudly at unfair calls and dirty plays.

So Anthony starts school on tuesday too! And the Dominic starts pre-school next monday. They are getting to be such big boys! Can you imagine for two days of the week for around 2 hours I will only have 2 kids here? Ill probably be bored! Im going to use that time for laundry I think. We can drop Dom off and them come home and do a couple loads, get it put away and when we pick up Dominic we can go to the park for awhile and then be home in time for Anthony to get off the bus. Rocco and Elliana deserve to have some fun too... and there are a couple really cute parks around here so I think we have a master plan.

Im trying to not freak about about the whole first day of school thing. Afterall, he is my first! So its soo very new to me. And unchartered territory, as we all know is very nerve racking. Im trying to move through it all very slow.. taking cautious baby steps so I dont have a full adult meltdown and scar him for the rest of his life.

Weigh in tomorrow AM.
Ill report the results in the AM.. then Im going to grill and enjoy the unofficial last day of summer :)

Happy Labor Day! (or memorial day as Ive been calling it for 2 weeks)
Hope you all have a wonderful day with family and friends and your grill :)

Weekend report..

So T and I got away this weekend. And that, as most of you know, means temptation is right up in my grill.. taunting me and teasing me. Um can someone open a drive thru that serves super tasty, super fantastic car food that isnt going to go straight to my ass? like a sushi drive thru? Call it wasabi express and give me a frequent visitor card FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Its not even that I was even close to cheating. I ate under my points even the day of the wedding EVEN tho I ate the tiny slice of cake (appropriate cake size..to me tiny lol as i LOVE cake) It was soooooooooooooo good. It took me like 40 minutes to eat it. She kept wanting to take my plate with like 5 crumbs and I was like NO> Im eating those crumbs. I may lick the plate too so Ill flag you over when Im done :)

I boogied enough to have burnt off that little slice anyway.. Im not much of a dancer but T is a born John Travolta wanna be.. so of course we were out there shaking what our momma gave us. It was a really fun time tho :)

Over all I had a really great week. I was gone alot doing prep stuff and running here and there but I stayed on track. I am LOVING the 1pt lavash wraps with a couple slices of turkey for a quick portable lunch for under 3 points. LAVASH!!! Thats it!
Screw Mr. Pita.. Im going to have to open a lavash house. Actually House of Lavash. Or Fat Girls love Lavash.. or Back of the Van Lavash.. :)
Ill only serve WW friendly foods have like 4 different wraps on the menu total. You could get a lavash for 3 points, 20 baked kettle chips for 2 points and a diet for 0 and a serving of grapes for 1. All that for 6 points and a tip and youd be happy and id be putting my kids thru college :)

Keep an eye out y'all.. House of Lavash may be coming to your neighborhood soon :)

In the naughty spot....

Well...Im writing this post from the naughty spot. Its been a WHOLE week since Ive blogged. So here I sit in the Time out chair to try my very best to make it up to you. I do have lots and lots to talk about tho :)

I had a super busy week last week. T and I had a wedding to go to and there was much to prepare for! We actually got to spend the night away from the whole crew compliments of Auntie Beth and Auntie Teri! So as a chic.. deciding on the outfit is crucial, the shoe decision heart wrenching.. not to mention the packing and organizing and repacking and the MAJOR overthinking (like did I REALLY need 4 pair of underwear for an overnight trip? Was I anticpating peeing my pants with delight or something?) THEN on THURSDAY...T tells me that he hasnt dropped his suit/shirt/tie off to the dry cleaners and I about throttled him. I actually considered it. I was like UGH!! MEN! THey just have NO idea on the preparation BOTH physical and mental that woman go thru when it comes to very special events. We think about stuff, then rethink them and change this and change that and honestly by the time we get to the event we are half drained.. they of course are raring to go cause really all they had to do was dress themselves and get in the car.

But I digress...

Have you ever been to a wedding where you look at the couple who is about to be married and just like of glance at your watch and wonder just how long that couple will be able to deal with each other? While looking at them together you just see an obvious lack of magical chemistry and wonder to yourself....is she in this for the money? the looks? the sex? ...does he consider her a trophy wife? a naive wife ..or even a 'fridays for the girlfriend, saturdays for the wife'kind of arrangement? Ive been to a couple weddings like that and just kind of end up feeling sad. What happens after the big hoo haa of the event is over? After the dress is boxed up and the flowers have all died and the event of their marriage is just a faint memory of the buffet dinner and shitty favors that were painstakenly difficult to make but mostly left behind or discarded?

The wedding T and I were at was the polar opposite of what I stated above.

It was a wedding for the times. Not one that was extremely lavish.. altho very classy and very beautiful. When the bride was being walked down the aisle by her adoring parents she had that Im so nervous but so happy-must smile for the camera but cannot control my lips because they have a mind of their own look on her face. her and the groom kept laughing at something while standing close.. maybe it was little inside jokes.. or maybe those giggles eased their nerves as they knew they were in this together. She wore a stunning dress that had a single cross strap in the back which reminded me of her.. Beautiful in a classy, simple way. No big hair, no train to china, no beading in the wrong spots or 3 veils or GLOVES. Have you ever seen 27 dresses? OR is it 23 dresses? You know, the one with my girl from greys anatomy (kat heigl) ? Remember what that guy says? WHen he says he always likes to look at the groom when he sees the bride for the first time about to come down the aisle?

I actually teared up when I was watching the groom look at his bride to be. He was beaming. Not in that.. oh i better smile for the camera snap snap frown... but a real smile. A smile WITH a gaze. A smile WITH a gaze... in that moment he realized that beautiful woman was his in holy matrimony till death do them part. It is the same look she will see when she delivers their children. When she cooks him his favorite pot roast, when she shows up at his work with their kids. Its the same gaze that will be looking at her when shes not even paying attention- dressed in her jammies and hair in a pony maybe even drooling or snoring. When she stands up for herself he will watch her, when she comforts someone he will stare. The last thing he will see before he closes his eyes for the next 100 years will forever bring that same smile to his face.

That, friends, was the look of L O V E. You cant buy it, you cant even fake it.


1 Corithians 13:13 says

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"

Congratulations newlyweds.





(p.s raspberry vinegarette was off the charts. If my clutch was waterproof I would have tried to smuggle it home)

The weekend sprint...lap 1..lap 2.. and zzzzz

Ok before I even get into writing this I have to say I HATE FLIES. Sadly, my 4 children, 3 of whom can open and leave open the doors of our dwelling must not because they LOVe to give them ample opportunity to enter and fly about. UGH I COULD SCREAM.

Breathing in... and out.. and in..

Moving on.

My GLORIOUS, FANTASTIC, move over butter, pass the fat free gravy, martha stewart you'd be proud weekend :) It was all that. Plus more. It was almost like I bought two great nights and I got the third great night free. Just had to pay shipping and handling :)

Friday....

Shawn and Beth came up for dinner. Brent happened to be here already so what was abotu to be another uneventful night on Breen road turned into impromptu dinner party!

YAY!

So... menu:
Steaks for the boys and kids (very good cuts not kroger garbage)
Shrimp cocktail for all (especially my 4yr old Dom who LOVES shrimp and frequently asks for them for breakfast)
Diver Scallops courtesy of my guests -yumriffic
Tasty low point feta dressing made with rice wine vinegar, 1 tbsp olive oil, oregano, pepper, garlic powder (PHENOM)
Baked potato with the fixins for the boys
Grilled corn on the cob

And we ate. Like piggys. All of us.... but yet Beth and I felt so happy when we were all done because it was a delish meal that was very low in points.

For dessert.. she brought up some of her new remake of coconut creme pie, I bought mini-eclairs which are a touch more than 1pt a piece and I also cut some bananas in half and dipped them in 32 chips of good garadhelli (spelling?) chocolate. And then I froze them... and they WERE SO GOOD.

They tasted like banana custard frozen with chocolate syrup on top. And the whole banana was only 3.5 points but that was techincally for 2 banana pops.
Bahahahahaha... we laughed in the face of that little devil who sits on our shoulder and tries to get us to cheat :) We ate awesome.. and felt awesome for making good decisions.

Round two.. ding ding ding

So Im out and about with another friend and I say something about planning on going home and making spaghetti and mentioned that her and her hubs should come up and eat with us. And whattya know.. she took me up on it! So.. came home.. whipped up some homemade sauce with half ground sirloin, half turkey, lots of onions, carrots, garlic, parsley, italian seasoning and let it bubble away for an hour or so. I also made a regular garden salad that we each could dress ourselves, and took a long leftover baguette from the night before.. sliced it long ways and made a little butter/parsley/garlic powder mixture, applied it, and popped it in the oven. When it was brown and tasty I cut it into about 1 inch slices on an angle which I felt to be about one serving.

For dessert I had some strawberries half crushed marinating and getting juicy in the fridge with some splenda.. and had picked up a sugar free angel food cake. Sugar free angel food cake is WHERE ITS AT people. For 1/5 of that big bundt looking thing the breakdown goes as follows: 100calories, 0 fat/trans fat, 7g dietary fiber.

Thats ONE point per serving. I mean you could have a GIANT piece and still itd only be 2 points. Add a cup of berries for another point and hot dog you have an amazing dessert that only tastes naughty! Add some FREE cool whip (i was out so we didnt get too)
Ok so lets say you had a crazy bad day. If you sat down and ate that ENTIRE cake and like 2 cups of mushed berries ..itd still only be 7 points. Thats INSANE! Like one piece of regular pie cut in 1.16 or 1/8 of the pie is like at least 6 points. See... its all about FOOD choices. Choices choices choices. And doesnt it seem as time goes on we are starting to make better choices?

I mean .. in reality. I had two dinner parties WITH my 4 kids home.. and they both went off without a hitch. We all ate healthy... or at least with healthy options, and took the time to enjoy the gathering for what it was. Do you feel like Im beating a dead horse about this? We are now FEEDING our souls and our minds... INSTEAD of our bellies! That friends.. is what true soul food must be.

So this friday is my little cousins wedding! Tony and I are super excited to go. We not only get to get out of the house together, and have a reason to dress up.. but we get to see two people who are truly in love and seem to be soul mates profess their love in front of God and their families. What is more beautiful than that!

I did end up finding what I think is a super cute black dress. Its black, but a patterned black fabric. The top just has a V and then under the bustline it has black shiny big beads kind of in the pattern of an asterisk. Then the bottom has the fluted material... you know where theres like a layer then another layer, then another layer down until right below the knee. Its pretty comfy and Im going to pair it with a little black arm chub coverer. I found some amazing shoes at TJ mAxx that are a high heel thats kinds of thick.. with a strap around the ankle and what looks like some balck fabric flowing down the top of my foot. Kind of the match the flowing layers of the dress. So as long as I dont fall and bust my ass I should be good to go. Tonys going to wear his black suit and green shirt/tie combo. He looks soooooooooooo good in that combination. I will try my best to not look homly as I stand next to him :)

Alright kids.. Im off to do some pushups till I cry :)

Finish line in T minus 20 minutes...

Lawash or lavash...either way- I like it :)

Ok.. so I picked up some whole wheat lawash at the local Krog. Came out to 2 points for the wrap which isnt too bad even tho I thought it might be one. Tonight I filled it up with 4oz ff turkey lunchmeat, a tomato, some romaine lettuce, mustard and a swab of wasabi. It was delightful!

I figure it was about 4 points for the whole sandwich with the fixins and coupled with a cup of baby carrots it was very filling and very good.
My friend and copartner on this journey the other day made a very low point (5) remake of a coconut creme pie. She said it was magnificent!
Im going to attempt the same thing with a banana creme pie possibly for my holiday party coming up. I find it addicting, and very satisfying to take a recipe and tweak it any way I can to make it lower in points. After all..the more points I save there.. I can spend else where :)

I took the babysitter out to lunch today because she leaves for college tomorrow :(
Im super excited for her to start up her junior year.. but sad because the kids and I will miss her! Anywho... she chose chinese and I was unprepared but I think I did ok.

I chose a cup of egg drop soup
Szhrimp with veggies with no oil
white rice
It came with an egg roll too

I know.. drumroll.

So I scraped off most of the sauce anyway..ate about a cup of shrimp and veggies.
2 forks of rice
TOTALLY skipped the eggroll.

I know! I even cut it open and sauced it up...and I know its around 5 points for that and I had only used 3 points for brekkie on an egg white omelet with tomato and onion. But then I smelled it and kind of squeezed it and I ended up not being very impressed with it. Weight watchers must be getting into my bones because I love me an eggroll. I also love sesame ckn, general ckn, seafood fried rice and the list goes on and on. I actually worked in a chinese restaurant for awhile in college!

Maybe its the stuff that starts to develop once youre completely in this 100percent. Maybe we CAN enjoy treats out to lunch and dinner in SUPER moderation. Maybe we can enjoy the dinner date for the conversation and night out that it actually is. Coco and I had a great conversation...and I actually felt a little bit of victory when on my way home my stomach actually growled. It was almost if it was telling me... hey- good choices in the fried chinese, sauce covered world.. Ive already burnt up what you ate and now Im off to burn your chubb for energy.

Well one can always hope :)

Tomorrow its fiber one pancakes (I found boxes of the buttermilk kind on clearance for 1.00 today) and turkey sausage for brekkie. Ill probably have 2 pancakes or 3 litle ones and 1 sausage.

Lunch will be another lawash or lavash or whatever its called.. a wrap made of clouds and turkey and the fixins... and a serving of baked kettle chips. They are actually 20 chips for 2 points!! And they are very very good. You still get the flavor of the oh so good regular chips.. but on a thicker baked chip. Bravo Kettle chips... Bravo!

Snack.. 1pt jolly time kettle corn (my popcorn crush)

Other snack...homemade pico dipped up with peppers

Din din.... oh my.. i TOTALLY forgot to tell you what you HAVE to buy at Kroger this week:

Honeysuckle...turkey tenderloins 9.99 each but they are Buy 1, Get one FREE this week! Thats 5 bucks each and they are pretty hardy. I grilled two of them yesterday because I wasnt sure how far they would go and we had one whole one left over for today.. they were very juicy, very tasty...and low in points. I tried the rotisserie flavor and italian seasoning flavor yesterday. I avoided the teriayki.

I most definitely will be going back there this weekend and buying 5 more ..getting 5 free and throwing them in the deep freeze. I happened to have $1 off any honeysuckle coupon and you can use 1 each even for the free one so I will end up paying 40 bucks for 10. Sounds like alot but thats meat for 10 meals so once a week for 2 months and if I couple it with low cost or free side dishes.. it will make for a low cost meal.

2nd.. kroger carrots... are on for 10/10
I love these as a snack and grabbed up 5 bags the other day.

I also bought two bags of baby spinach that were reduced to .34 EACH
3 bags of romaine lettuce reduced to .64 each
All still with a week to expire and trust me they will be LONG gone before then

Quaker quakes on for a buck a bag if you buy 8.

SO...this is what I did yesterday. I started out with a coupon for $2 off 5 General mills cereals. They are on for 1.48 each if you buy 8 products (various products)
5 cereals @ 1.48 each = 7.40
3 bags of quakes @ .99/each= 2.97
Total..10.37 MINUS the $2 off coupon so total: 8.37 for 5 boxes cereal and 3 bags quakes. THEN for an added bonus for you mommies out there:

The coupon printer at the register (catalina machine) printed out ANOTHER $2 off 5 general mills cereal coupon AND a code for 10 BONUS boxtops!! I was thrilled!!

Ill be rolling that deal till the cows come home next time I go. Will probably spend about 25 bucks and end up with 15 boxes cereal and 9 more bags quakes and lots of BTFE's!

I know. Some of you are gasping and saying 20 boxes of cereal! WTF! Is she crazy??

Poss

But more likely.. just trying to save when i can :)

If we choose to all eat cereal for breakfast (which in a few short weeks will be what Anthony will get alot of mornings before school) then we can finish a box off no problem. They dont make those boxes very big anymore.. its like 6 bowls and the box is empty.. or you are lucky if you even get 6 bowls!

Speaking of cereal.. also had cascadian organic cereal for kids on sale 2.49 and most had $1 off coupons stuck on them so I picked up a few of those for a 1.50 which is pretty good deal for anything organic.

Guess itd be safe to say Im all stocked on cereal for the next couple months :)

I SOOOO need a good spaghetti sauce deal! I can actually see the back wall behind the sauce :)Might have to buy a bushel of maters and can some of my own.

Just kidding.

I may be domesticated but all that screams to me is 3rd degree burns and stained tile and countertop :)

Ill leave that up to bev and snag a few jars :)

I did make lots of SF jam tho! So im getting there :)

Speaking of domesticated and becoming a farm mother.. my husband wants to get a mini-goat.

More to come about the Great Goat Debate...

4th times the charm..

Ive tried to write this blog four times.. Its been like a beehive here in my house. Things go in these WaVeS during the day... sometimes we are all entertained and preoccupied, and other times I am pulling apart two or three of the boys because they are in all out brawl mode over an incredible hulk toy.

Ive had a great couple of days tho.
I was down another pound yesterday and this morning when I got on the scale again just because Im a glutton for punishment.. I was down another 1.6 pounds. But Im only taking the one pound for the loss for this week and will hope for a HUGE week next monday. I had a snacky bad, temptation filled weeked. I used up a ton of points on friday with some cheese, a coney dog and an ice cream cone. Saturday I stayed within my points but 12 of them were used on pizza. Sunday we went out to brekkie and I had an awesome egg white omelette with onions ad tomatoes and felt fine. When 4 o'clock rolled around I just wanted to eat everything in the whole house. The problem was that I COULDNT FIND anything that was junky! I ended up eating a tablespoon of peanut butter right out of the jar and taking the 10 points for it. It did the trick. But I wasnt understanding why all of a sudden Id been wanting to eat junky food? Id been so dedicated and motivated for 7 weeks now. I have NEVER cheated one time before then, nor had I even touched my weekly 25 extra points. Not once. So I dont know if it all came crashing down on me and I started to go off track with my thinking and my rationalizing or what not.

But I am HAPPY AS HELL that its all over :)

Must have shook it all out of my system cause yesterday I was mortified that I ate a coney dog and followed it down with some ice cream. To be perfectly honest, I got a coney dog and fries. I ate the dog and it was yum. I had about 2 fries and they werent doing the trick so I went over and bought an ice cream and some onion rings. I ate 3 small onion rings (they were delicious but I wasnt even enjoying them). The small ice cream cone I did eat up and I cant lie.. it was really good. A couple hours before that I had eaten some cheese and some turkey jerky. IT really was a hot mess of a day.. but looking back I think if I added up all my daily points and my weekly bonus points that I was still within range. Over the weekend I also ate alot of smoked salmon as the main part of a couple meals. Not like pounds of it but 4-5 oz a meal. It was sooooo good- but it is sooooo salty. By sunday night i couldnt even pull my wedding ring off. I must have been retaining fluid like a porpoise. It was GROSS.

But all in all. I learned my lesson. I have to allow myself to use a few of the extra points here and there if I want to. If I dont and I am this crazy strict girl.. I will end up binging and going a bit off the deep end. Lesson learned.

I actually felt ill friday night and had heart burn all wekend from the shitty food.
When I got on the scale yesterday I was disappointed in my loss because I knew it could have been more if I hadnt eaten a bunch of salty yuck. This week I am cutting out anything other than water to drink or water/lemon. Im also upping the exercise to twice a day AND the killer stuff Tony makes me do. Its sucks while Im doing it but then Im so happy afterward. Kind of the EXACT opposite that I am with food.. happy while Im eating junky but then it sucks after- Hmmm... how profound!
So I drank like 3 L of water yesterday and did my handy dandy exercise and low and behold today Im down another 1.6 pounds. I bet that was 1.6 pounds of water bloaty bloat from the smoked fish and other salt laden weekend choices.

Lest ye learn from my shortcomings!

Hope I learn from my shortcomings too....

Love

Jolly Time Kettle Corn popcorn.

Love it.

Rain, rain go away...

Ugh.

Its raining out. We were just about to load up and leave to hit the fair and it started to pour. I guess its better that it started before we got out and paid the mint to park and for the ride bracelets and such. I starved the whole day so I could eat half an elephant ear! I figured out that a whole one would be 20 points.. so half would be 10 and itd be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worth it. Guess thats a tiny sign from the Big Man to not use 10 points on something so terribly delicious. Oh well.. theres always next year.

I'll be honest, I sort of feel like Ive hit a rut. Kind of felt like Ive had the same rain cloud over my head that I can see over my yard. In the last couple days Ive had things happen that have filled up my head and body with anxiety. I used to have alot of problems with anxiety. When I was a junior in college.. I barely left my apartment but to go to class and to come home. In retrospect I probably had some social anxiety disorder mostly caused by weight gain and super low self esteem. Within the first 10 minutes of any class I had Id be all sweating and nervous that somehow attention would be called on me. When I had to give presentations Id just about hyperventilate thinking about it. But when I was up there, as long as I knew what i was talking about.. I was fine. It was just the lead up time that would freak my freak out. Delayed confidence? Is there anything more messed up than that...
Sad, really. Probably should have talked to someone about it instead of letting it wreak havoc on my life. But then I would have been putting myself out there and as we ALL know.. who the hell wants to do that? I was in a bad relationship as icing on that cake and all in all that year was an epic failure.

So in the last couple days when I felt a twinge of those weird feelings I talked it out with Tony. I am not brave enough to take on stress and anxiety by myself yet. I am too weak.

Also.. as a side note. Throughout my many years of growing up and being fat for the last 10 years or so I just wanted to address comments/situations Ive heard or been in so then I can grow past them and not let them bother me anymore. Its all part of the healing process right? After all..this is an honest journal of what I feel and what I do.. if you hate it.. please dont read it. If youre going to read it and then be talking negatively about it... pass on reading it. If youre read it and you disagree/hate/love/question something I post about... call me out on it.. ask me/grill me/interrogate me. But do it to me. Not your neighbor, or your friend.. or someone else. You are all ALLOWED to hate this and think Im searching for attention, reaching for popularity, or venting about nonsense. Youre entitled to your opinion. I am searching for success in a weight loss journey, and hoping to FIND myself along the way.

Going on..
I find out when people say "Oh... she has such a beautiful face." Nothing says wow is she getting fat other than that statement.
I hear about it when you tell someone "She really needs to lose some weight.. or last time I saw Bre.. she has gotten bigger"
It gets back to me when you think things I do are intentionally to spite someone or because Im being selfish. I never have that agenda. If that is how it comes off... then its being read in a TOTALLY wrong way. If you really knew me .. youd know Im a horrible, obsessive PLEASER and I will obsess long and hard about something or someone if I think they are upset or annoyed with me and especially if I KNOW they had been talking shit. Just yesterday I had to call my mom back because when I talked to my dad I thought he sounded a bit offish and that maybe he was mad at something that I had said or did. Not until I got her confirmation that he was not upset was I ok. And I know.. Im sure all of you are looking in your local phone book for the crazy house so they can come pick me up :) I try to not worry and anguish over other peoples opinions and views about me but I cant. Its so deply rooted in my psyche that I will always be like this.
Next. If it is christmas can you please not buy me a diet book. For 4 years, my mother-in-law bought me 3-5 diet books each christmas as my whole gift. Even when I was pregnant. I KNEW I was fat. Its not like we dont know. But please, dont gift me diet books or big boxes of 100 calorie snacks. The throw up gets right to the top of my throat when I have to open those in front of other people. I had to address that- even tho we dont have to be around my mother-in-law ever at holidays anymore.. but maybe it will help someone else not buy diet books or snacks and horrify the shit out of someone. (i actually liked the snacks but maybe not to open them in front of everyone like a huge siren that was screaming HERES A GOOD SNACK CHUBBS)
4thly or 5thly as Ive lost count.
Guess what. talking about me behind my back doesnt really end up making me look bad. It wont help me lose weight, it wont help me to realize I need to make better decisions, it wont inspire me to get healthy so I can live longer. When I find out that youve said these things through various channels.. and there are lots of people out there that do this(this isnt directed at anyone inparticular).. all it does is crush my self-esteem and make me want to eat. SO if you want me to be an overweight, miserable, faking the happy through the days girl, keep on keepin on. But, if you want me to be successful in this life changing journey, and in life in general then--- email me a WW recipe, or post on my fb wall that you see what Im doing and have tried a recipe or fat cutting trick that Ive posted. Maybe youve couponed a bit more or looked for the best price. If you talk to my mom and dad.. maybe you'd make their day and say a positive comment about me. And guess what? Id be eternally grateful that for once in my life I would have HAD your APPROVAL instead of knowing you scoff at me behind my back and love to pounce on any thing bad you can say about me.

Your approval is important to me too. I do not live my life to be disliked by the masses. Potentially the best I can do isnt good enough and youd be horrified if your children or relatives or potential children acted like me. Be that as it may.. I can only be me. Sooner or later Im going to have to learn to love me and accept me and keep on trying to make me be the best me I can be. I may not deserve your approval.. but I would like to earn it. That is the best I can do.

Im working on getting that 10yr old dark rain cloud to float away. Your donations of sunshine are so greatly appreciated. They not only enrich my life, but help me through the days that the overcast moves in and that I feel a little down. For the first time in a long time... I can see the edges of that cloud and I know its shrinking little by little, day by day.

One day..Im gonna wake up and *Poof* its just gonna be clear skies from here on out.

Friends....

Make them.

Treasure them.

Appreciate the ones who ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU.

Rekindle old friendships that have dimmed over time.

Talk to someone that you dont really know.

Ask someone to tell you something youd never know about them.

Adore your friendships as if they were blood bonds- sometimes they are stronger.

This isnt highschool anymore people. You are FREE to be friends with whomever you wish. Ever look back at highschool and realized that the people who were so cool and so hot and who youd die to hangout with/date/be bffs with...are now still living with their mom and dad? Working at the local taco bell serving up some cinnamon twists and sides of pinto beans? Remember when they made you feel like you want to disappear because you were so insignificant in their major world of popularity and fame?

Sad.

I dont have sisters or brothers.. so my friends mean that to me. I have made friends with people who I havent even known since I was in 1st grade and we have and we will make bonds that will not be broken.

Its an HONOR to be considered someone else's friend. I cherish the position, I relish in it.. and I strive to be the best at it I can be.

I know.
Stop soap boxing Bre.

Im done :)

More to come tomorrow..

Shaq is a very large man...

Wow.

If you're a mom.. imagine pushing that head out. I wonder if he was the size of a 2 year old when he was born? How much can/does that man eat in a day? Its not even like hes hugely overweight. Hes just a beast among men. I'm watching him on VS Shaq right now and I'm just wondering if the opponents he gets to take on are secretly soiling their boxing shorts. Fighting an unknown opponent is scary enough. Fighting an unknown opponent who looks like Shaq would be even more intimidating.

Which brings me in a weird sorta way to my latest point. What does dieting possess that makes it so scary to us? So intimidating? So scaredy chicken to jump into something head first even though we KNOW what the outcome will be? We know if we intake less than we output then the pounds will come off. That's just math. Or physics? Or chemistry? Either curriculum, now that I'm doing this dang thing I sometimes wonder.

In all honesty before I started this I was admittedly very well versed in many aspects of diet and nutrition. I KNEW about the point system for WW and alot of values for different foods. I know how to do atkins, South beach, and count calories and fat. I knew what the healthy foods were.

It was because I was afraid of having to make GOOD and SOUND choices that I would continuously have a new excuse why I couldn't start my journey THEN, right then. Not next week, or next Monday , or after the next holiday. I was scared of the commitment and the hard work and frickin effort that it TAKES to be successful at this. Sad, isnt it? that I would have rather woke up every day with the burden of being overweight as opposed to just jumping up and doing something about it?

So today, I raise my Crystal Light filled glass in cheers to conquering fears...facing our doubts and motivating our bodies to be what we want them to be. I may never be a size 5 or have legs that go all the way up to there. But that doesn't scare me. What I will have is my confidence back, my energy, possibly my self-esteem, and most importantly, the love. The love for myself just for who I am. You know, who we all are on the inside. Which is what matters. It'll just be wrapped up in a healthier, lighter, more spirited packaging :)

This diet and lifestyle change is quite similar to that professional athlete taking on Shaq. He doesn't know the outcome...he doesn't know if it will be an epic failure. But he does his research, sticks to his game plan, practices his skills daily... and more times than not he is able to defeat a gargantuan man--- because in this arena it is OUR game.. OUR life..and OUR success. My WW plan is my method of attack VS the Shaq of the fattening food choice world.

Bring it.

Hello Hello.

Long time no see.

It was a hectic weekend. Check that. It was a hectic week!

We had a couple birthday dinners out, a Tigers game to attend and a mens night raffle. Time consuming, super fun.. alot of driving and ALOT of temptation.

And trust me.. after last week I really could have buckled. Mother nature was due and I was getting hungrier than normal. Plus sitting next to your peers and watching them eat a huge and amazing looking pile of nachos is pretty much all it takes to want some of those. I actually watched a friends boyfriend take a chip, dip it in liquid cheese delight, dip it in salsa, put a jalapeno on it and eat it. And i watched him do that like 20 times. He probably thought I had a mental problem or something cause I was watching him and I was just thinking about how tasty those would be, but how they were probably a zillion points and in the end I decided it just wasnt worth it. That doesnt mean I didnt WANT them.. But watching him gave me enough satisfaction to enjoy my handful of peanuts and diet pop. I skipped the hot dog and other delights and actually ENDED up with 3 points that day.

When yesterday rolled around I was pleased that I had chosen that route because the scale showed a 3lb loss. Now granted, I would have enjoyed the pizza or dogs or nachoes or ice cream in the MOMENT...but when scale time came yesterday I would have been upset. I chose to get my joy from the excitement and from the enjoyment of the company of my friends and that dear friends.. is fat and calorie free.

I did go ahead and get some f/f turkey dogs and 1 pt buns and had 2 for dinner last night. The kids love to eat them sans bun and they are a quick and portable snack.
2 dogs and 2 buns = 4 points. I loaded them up with mustard and a touch of ketchup a couple onion squares and it was delish.

Todays menu:
For brekkie the kids had half scrambled eggs and egg whites and one piece of whole wheat toast with spray butter or low sugar jam. And a banana. I had a smart one breakfast quesadilla for 4 pts. I know I could have eaten the scramble with them but we only had 8 eggs left and once you drain the whites out of 4 it didnt make much.

For a snack they had a piece of string cheese and a couple all-bran crackers.

For lunch which is in a few:
A high fiber, low cal, low fat tortilla
Fat free refried beans
fat free cheese
Some jacks special salsa
Might have some mandarin oranges (low sugar)
Or juice

For Dinner:
Hm....
Might do the hot dog thing again but throw them on the grill. Its so nice out that I hate to turn the oven on and heat the house up. I do have some tasty corn on the cob and thatd be yumriffic with that and maybe some roasted cherry tomatoes.

Well Im glad, as usual, that Im back to writing when I get a 3 minute break. I just figured out dinner and sometimes I am stuck thinking about it over and over until I think its something that everyone will enjoy.

Later on this week we are taking the kids to the fair and this weekend Elliana and Dominic are going up to Gigi and Papa's. My mom called out of the blue yesterday and 2 of the kids are now THRILLED and Im not telling the other two until we are about to leave.. Ill save the devastation until friday :) Sharing gigi?? Its a tough thing for a 3yr old to understand!

ALright.. more to come later. I have alot on my mind and I'll unload it all for your reading delight.

Lets all make good choices today :)

Ugh.

I made an amazing healthy dinner tonight. It is such a joy to cook and eat healthy and my kids are soo good to me that they always love to eat their veggies and fruits and so DO NOT NEED to eat junk food.

Yes they get an occasional snack here and there. After all, they are just kids and who am I to deprive them of the well deserved treat. But most of you all have seen them, and they are all at a VERY healthy weight, extremely active, and love to eat any fruits and veggies I have.

Just today they enjoyed mango with their lunch. And they really liked it. For dinner, I made an enormous salad with a touch of feta, EDAMAME!!!, and homemade dressing with a Tbsp of EVOO. It was delicious and they each ate up their portion and asked for more.

If I give the impression that all I do is eat and cook healthy for myself, that is far from accurate. I make and bake my own ckn nuggets and "fries" or sweet potato fries, we pick black berries from our own bushes and the apples and pears are soon to come. A cucumber wont last a day in this house and Elliana loves cherry tomatoes so much.

I am disapointed in myself if I led you all to believe that I cast "junk food" to my kids, who are my pride and joy, while I then eat healthful food. That is SO not the case.

More about my complete turkey breast dinner I made tonight..I will share about that tomorrow.. it was amazing! And all for only 9 points complete with "dessert". I feel super bummed out right now and I dont want to write about that awesome dinner with a dark cloud over my head.

Green Tabasco sauce- you devil

Im an addict.
A hot sauce addict.

Its becoming insane. Im eating it on my eggs, my tacos, my chicken...and today, for lunch, on my smart ones mac n cheese.

I think at first, I was using it because it was kind of masking the taste of the broccoli, and making every other bland smart one have a little zip. But now, I wont even eat it unless it covered in it. Not just a dash or a smidge..but SATURATED in the green goodness.

Im going to need a food pipe transplant cause between the green tabasco and the wasabi addiction I have.. Im going to burn a hole in that and dissolve my tongue.

But at least Ill be doing it within points range :)

More to come. For now, I must work.

A ripe old age

So today I went blueberry picking. Tony and I had a million errands to run and amidst all the chaos, we saw a little sign for a blueberry farm only a couple miles up the road. So we went.
At first, there was no one in sight of the little baby blue painted blueberry shack. Then, only a few minutes later- a very elderly man came walking out of his house. His dog, an antique dachshund as well, was at the edge of the walk, barking and barking, as if to let us know SHE knew we were there- and she was giving us fair warning. The old man got into a golf cart and zipped down that driveway at like 10mph. I was startled. He about 180'-ed into the gravel driveway next to the blueberry shack and immediately greeted us with a warm toothless smile and a story about the acquistion of his dog. "She was an older lady's dog and the lady had cancer. When she passed, I somehow got the dog but shes got all her shots and she does have a license but she gets her paw caught in her collar so I dont make her wear it." I wasnt sure if the old man thought we were dog catchers or the F.B.I, but he went on to tell us how he didnt have his hearing aide in today so he probably wouldnt be able to hear if we asked any questions but he'd be happy to get us a couple pails and we could start picking. We were happy to have met a free spirit like him. He joked with us numerous times about getting old. And when the time came to weigh our booty, which was well over 4 pounds.. he squinted his eyes at the super awesome antique weigh scale and said.. "Yep, well I figure you got yourselves around a pound here....so that'll be about 50 cents." We were quick to correct him in a LOUD voice and proceeded to hand him over as many dollars as we thought was what his actual price should be. He tried to push it back numerous times, and finally Tony told him to use the extra to buy doggy treats for the dog the lovely old man once called Tricky, and the next time called Shirky. He smiled a toothy grin and off we went to take our fresh pick home.

I thought about alot of stuff when I was wondering around that huge field for those 30 minutes. I thought about how that old man could have so much to be upset about. He was obviously aged.. and time was making moving around a bit difficult for him. It looked like he lived alone, as Im sure that dog who as we left he called Ticky, was his newly acquired life companion. He told us he had fallen off the couch a week or so ago and had really banged up his leg.."But thats what happens when you get to be an old man har har har." I thought to myself how those blueberry fields represented alot of things in my life too. For some part of their life they are just a small bush.. not fruit bearing, growing their roots deep to be able to florish with leaves and be jeweled with berries. Then the time comes.. the fruit grows, the pickers pick, and the tree seems to be left naked...fruitless, with nothing but broken branches and dead leaves, and the rejected berries left to rot and disappear. But within that time, that little bush regains its strength and the next year, and the next it is filled with fruit and adorned with lush green leaves.
I bet that man looks forward to berry season each and every year. I bet the different cars and different people that he gets to see bring a smile to that weathered face. He doesnt have that berry farm to make a million dollars, he has it to bring a little warmth to his life. He goes through the seasons much like a berry bush.. waiting and hoping, and wondering what it will be like this year when he gets to feel alive again with a farm full of people, and pickers, and little kids with buckets bigger than their heads.

It was an honor to pick at that mans farm today, and to have met an old soul with a certain sparkle in his eyes. No matter what happens now, day by day, he will relish the fact that he certainly did reach a ripe old age.

Content overload....

I have soooooooo much to talk about today. Ill post in sections cause its a super busy day here today but theres alot to talk about.

1st. I saw a proactiv VENDING machine in the local mall. It was next to the mountain dew and chocolate dispensing machine.

That, friends is smart advertising/marketing. Buying acne medicine from a VENDING machine? Seriously?? Whats next...valtrex machine in the bathroom next to the condom dispenser? Rogaine pumps in the gym shower with a quarter slot? Have any of you seen this madness?


Next:
Weigh-in: -1.6 pounds

Really felt the desire to throw down a whopper or some sesame chicken yesterday. Pretty sure mother natures going to rear her ugly head here shortly. Instead I made a huge dinner of baby backs, grilled shrimp (super low in points), grilled zucchini, and a big salad with a touch of feta, tomatoes and onions and a recipe for salad dressing from Ms.Martini :) (red wine vinegar, touch of olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.) Its soooo yummy and it reminds me of many fun birthday party!

Moving on:
My very good friend's husband just lost his father to stage 4 pancreatic cancer. They found out only about 2 weeks ago and thought he had 4-10 months. Ive been keeping them in my prayers and trying to learn from this lesson. Life is fleeting! Its short if you really think about it.. and like Cheryl once said-- We ONLY get ONCE chance at this life. So we better live it up. Surround ourselves with the people who we love and who lift us up. Life is too short to be wasted on the petty stuff and with those who only bring us down. So Im going to make it a point to kiss my hubby before he goes to work and when he gets home and to tell him and my kids how much they mean to me every day-- I know we all say it and some times everyday.. but Im going to start telling each of them why I love them and why they are special to me. It was a real tragedy for my friend and her husband and son.. I am glad they had their small window for some closure and hopefully we all can learn from this real-life example. I'll start.. Blog readers.. I adore you :) Thank you for being there for me.. even if youre just a lurker or occasional reader.. you are helping me to be able to love and live till im older so I will be able to tell my kids how special they are for a very, very long time. You have my crush.

Quote I stole from a dear friends sis-in-law:

Do NOT spoil what you have by desiring what you have NOT; REMEMBER that what you NOW have was once among the things only hoped for! ~Epicurus

Isnt that the truth!!! It rings so true even with this dieting thing. Maybe we fall off the wagon a bit..or start feeling down that its not coming off in a month (even tho it took us years to put it on!)... so then we start to think about having a little treat here or oh this little bite wont hurt us. I was there yesterday. Tony was asleep and the kids were having a little bag of chips ahoy that my mom had brought and the baby kept handing them to me and I kept putting them over on the table but thinking about them and trying to rationalize them and I did eat one. I took a point for it..but then I started to think about food in general and all the stuff I havent eaten in like 5 weeks and I started to resent the fact that I couldnt/shouldnt/wouldnt eat it. I drank some water, got the kids to bed, and went right to bed.. by like 9:30. When I read her quote this morning I was like Bingo. I could have spoiled this progress by wanting to eat something that wouldnt even have been sooo wonderful..and I would have been full of regret...and it is just a FACT that the 14.8 pounds I have lost so far IS IN FACT something I hoped for!!! I mean I hope for alot more.. but still-- it is a stepping stone in the right direction. I could have GAINED 15 pounds!! I was on track to do just that with the bad food choices and lack of activity.

So thank you Epicurus whomever you were..and to you Laura for just the quote and inspiration I NEEDED today. For a fleeting moment, I had my eye on the door of this WW train.. thanks for making me sit back down, buckle up and keep on a-ridin' :)

Oh...wasabi..you are my bff.

You heard it. You coat it, powder it, or dip it in wasabi and I am going to l o v e it.

Where does it even come from? I think its in the horseradish family? Im sure I could google it but wheres the fun in knowing exactly where it came from when i can just assume its a small gift from above. What I do know for certain is that I could eat cardboard if I had a small bowl of low sodium soy sauce with a mound of that green delight melted into it to dip the cardboard in.

I know its cheater sushi...but I could eat a california roll every day. And thats not because Im against a spicy tuna roll or my friend Beths fav alaska roll. Im even ok with the nigiri. Its that damn "Monsters inside me" show on the discovery channel that absolutely freaks my freak out. Like 1 out of every three cases of crazy liver eating or intestine melting parasite has been contracted from eating raw fish. And it just skeeves me out. Especially seeing as how we dont really live near a body of water that hosts tuna or shrimp. So cal i for nia rolls it is for this sushi lover. 5 points for a 6 piece roll of that delight. Sad part is, if it did have parasites, I probably lose weight alot faster, and the protein in those worms would lower the points value. :)

Can you believe that a Kroger by me makes it to order? They actually have a guy in there in full chef garb handling that sticky rice and nori to perfection. In a pinch, its actually pretty good. Better than the stuff you can get pre-packaged a week ago at Meijer, but not as good as your Sho gun or Fishbone sushi bar.

Whats your favorite sushi? Ever had it? Scared to try it? Have a must-try for me?

I think the thing with sushi is that it FEELS naughty..with all the accoutrement and sides and wasabi goodness. But if you think about it.. its just fish. Not good old fish n chips, but plain fish, and veg, and a bit of white rice. Its not battered or deep fried.. although it can come that way but soooo not worth the points. I like the veggie one too... and its only 2 pts for the whole roll. So for 12 points you could have 2 cali rolls and a veggie roll and if you ate all that youd be sooo super stuffed. Im not even sure I could eat all that in a sitting. But once again, having that whole plate full of allowed food to pick and choose at makes the brain feel uber happy. And having leftovers is something Im not super familiar with, but am becoming more accustomed too.

Ever had a wasabi soy almond?

I love the wasabi stuff thats on them so much that I may or may not have sucked the flavoring off of like 15 or so of them just so I wouldnt have to take the points for the almonds.

Yes, its that good. I used to do that with doritos, with the cool ranch ones. I didnt really love the dorito but I love that cool ranch flavor. I dont dare do that now as that ranch flavor for sure has some points in it.

This time tho.. I didnt put them back in the bag :)

Oh Monday...you jerkface.

I try to like you Monday. I wake up and try to be cheery but you always, ALWAYS, stop that from happening. Like today, you made me sooooooo busy that it wasnt until 11am that I got to make my iced coffee. Thats like 4 hours overdue so by then I am already a crazy raging lunatic with a perma-scowl.

You already have a bad rap because youre the next day after super saturday and glorious Sunday. But you consistently disappoint me.

Today you made it 100 degrees out. You sent a delivery guy to my house with pool equipment I had ordered 8 weeks ago, and cancelled 7 weeks ago cause I needed it asap. You made me spend an hour explaining to him how I DID NOT WANT THAT 350 dollar liner now because I BUILT THAT POOL ALREADY 6 weeks ago. Then you had me call their corporate accounting office because the delivery guy was trying to collect 13.20 from me for a light gasket EVEN THO I have a 960 dollar credit with them because they over charged me for the wrong lights.

You gave my 3 yr old the attitude of a 17 yr old girl. He was biting, pulling hair, sassing back and acting like the devils spawn. His normally happy-go-lucky nature was replaced with a furrowed brow, devil-may-care attitude and he kept the naughty spot warm all day. It was the last straw when he came up and pretended to fart on my leg. What did I ever do to you dear Monday?

Thanks also for having Tony's tire on the dumptruck lose air. If you dont remember, he was a little mad at Sunday because when he picked up the truck from the repair shop yesterday they charged him 460 to change that tire. So today, when the new tire was already losing air and he needed it to pull home the big trailer with the backhoe on it, it sucked pretty bad. But you let him make it all the way to Riley center rd and then you made a tire on the trailer blow out. Which then bent the axle on the trailer and pretty much ruined it as it'll pry cost more to repair than what we paid for it. But no worries monday.. as Im sure in your bank account you have an extra 10 grand to buy me a new trailer with air brakes...no? Well then you can see my dilemma.

And last but not least, I just wanted to say thanks for letting my big dog get into the trash bag I sat outside for 2 minutes because I had just put a fresh diaper into it. He completely demolished the bag and my front porch was entirely covered with garbage, including but not limited to: cantaloupe seeds and pulp.. which are really easy to clean up, leftovers from when I cleaned the fridge a bit, and the above mentioned diaper.

Its now 11:24, and your reign of terror today will soon come to an end.

I heart Tuesday.

Monday morning weigh-in train...

Whew.

What a weekend. Check that. What a fabulous weekend.

I hosted my girls day on saturday and it was sooo super fun. I not only got to spend time with some of my favorite girls on the planet, I got to feed them, use the fun dinnerware and drink tasty wine.

Carrot soup was awesome. Mango berry salad with ginger glaze and ww cornbread, a hit. Kabobs were yum, summer slaw was a favorite (and ZERO points) and who doesnt love grilled corn on the cob. Dessert was a WHOLE plate full of different tidbits. Sugar free angel food cake and splenda sweetened strawberries, hand cut compliments of Jenni, ww brownie for one point, lemon ice for 0 and yummy chocolatey meringue cookies from my l.l.s.

We all felt full but not sickeningly stuffed and pretty damn happy that we only used up around 9 points.

It can be done y'all! :) 5 courses of food for a total points value less than a mcdonalds hamburger and coke. Still more proof that WW can be squeezed and smushed and will fit into any lifestyle there is out there. I mean, I had a DINNER PARTY...with not just girls doing weight watchers and everyone liked everything we made. With the exception for jhy who is super skinny and super picky...but she still tried everything and didnt really HATE anything :) That was a testament in itself!

Sunday came around and we slept in late and then hit the pool to float the afternoon away. When Tony came back home with the kids, we grilled out dinner (lamb and veggies for them, just veggies and berries for me) threw the kiddos in the tub and ended the day watching a movie and having popcorn downstairs.

Its funny how much more I can get done when I only have one kid at home! Everything got its once over clean job and Tony put up a new fan and painted my accent wall in the living room in an hour :)

Anyway..

So this am I jumped on my scale and am happy to report a loss of 1.6 pounds. For a split second when I did the math I was a little disappointed.. after all the last 3 weeks have been big, big numbers! But then I added it up for the month and it was a total loss of 13.2 pounds. Thats an average of 3.3 pounds per week. Even I cant not be excited about that.

Can you believe we are a month in? That Ive stuck to something for 4, count em, 4 weeks in a row?!

Heres to week 5... 112 days to go.

Off to have my iced coffee delight for 2 points and a weight watchers egg muffin thing for 4.

Chuggin along...chug chuggin along.

Brain Boxing

So I messed up.

For some reason I got on that damn scale. I promised myself I wouldnt be weighing mid-week or every morning cause I go crazy then. But yesterday I just haaaaaaaaaaaaaaad to step on it. And I was geeked because it was almost 2 pounds less than my monday weigh in. Then today I got on and it was only a pound. Ugh!

I know! I know not to do this. I know that weight can flucuate during the day and the week depending on what you eat and what you drink and what you do.

So the rest of the day I was analyzing it and obsessing and bitching and talking to myself and blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

So I drank my coffee ate a turkey sandwich and some watermelon and thats all i had for the day.

Which i know just made my one wrong...turn into two wrongs.. and two wrongs dont make a right so for today I have to chalk up a big F.

On the lighter and brighter side I decided on a menu for my all day all fabulous all girl day on Saturday :

Apps:
Turkey meatballs with bbq sauce... 1 point for 2 meata ballza
Texas cavier... made with only 1 tbsp of evoo.. served with baked tortilla chips

Starter
Spicy Carrot Soup...2 points for a serving

Dinner:
Chicken Kabobs..ckn breast, pearl onions, cherry tomatoes, carrots (beth i dig it)
Grilled corn on the cob
Summer slaw... a whopping zEro points :)
Homemade corn bread- 3 points for a pretty hefty size piece

After dinner refresher
Mango Berry Salad with ginger glaze- 2 pts per serving
Assorted lower calorie cheese plate

Later...dessert:
Shimmery lemon ice... 0 points!
2" x 2" homemade cocoa brownie. 3
Both with a mint sprig and a couple raspberries.

Going shopping for the goods early in the am... going to try to make the turkey meatballs and carrot soup a day ahead and just warm them on game day.. hope that works out fine.

Super excited!!
Forgive if I dont post tomorrow...Ill be sooo busy. But I vow to eat correctly, and the majority of my points.
And no more stepping on the scale till monday.

Brain boxing is so over rated.

Wow wow wee wow.

For all of you who have kids... you know how pricey christmas can get. This week at most kmart locations, all of their toys that were already marked down on the clearance rack/aisle are being reduced again by 50%.

Go ahead and zip there, you can finish reading this when you get back :)


I managed to get a ton of xmas shopping done with this years sale. Ended up getting 340 dollars worth of toys for 140. And that's for 4 kids so 2-3 things each and a couple big things for everyone from mr. claus. My cart was overflowing and even the Kmart register lady was like WOW. Then you know what she said to me? "I ought to get back there to toys and see what kind of deals there are." WHAT?!?!?!? You mean to tell me you WORK here and you couldn't even jaunt back to the toys and buy everything you'd want/need for xmas before the doors even opened? Are we as Americans so blaize about life in general that a deal as f a b u l o u s as this doesn't even get our hearts a pumpin? Do we love to be in this recession? Are we now comfy and cozy in a life of mediocrity and are so used to over paying for nearly everything that we just roll over and eat it?

Save your skins people. Why spend your hard earned money on stuff you can get for half off?

Then ... at Kohl's.. I was in shopping for school shirts for Anthony - it was 50% off most stuff and Tonys dad had and extra 30 off coupon so the savings were really climbing. We get to the checkout and my total goes from 130 to 60. And that was for 10 shirts, some short sleeve, some long, and some random pants/towels/shorts. The lady checking us out says... "Yea I try to use my coupons at the grocery store but I always forget them." W h a t ?!? You put the time and effort into clipping and sorting your coups and then forget them at home. So...what you re saying is that you LIKE to overpay? That you WANT to over pay?

I challenge you now, dear to my heart readers. Next time you go to the grocery store...use your coupons. Love them. Respect them with a nifty binder. Scrutinize your mean cashier to make sure shes using the coupons correctly.


If you dont use them on an item that has a current coupon out and youre about to purchase it...you have to pay that 1.00. What if you had 10 items in your cart that had coupons out for them? Try to make me believe you dont have some place better to use 10 bucks.

Coupons are the new cash.

O M G

Well I did it. I actually completed my first day one of week one of the couch to 5k challenge. I cant lie and say it was inspiring or exciting or gave me a sudden love for exercise. It sucked. The jogging made that minute seem like an hour and the walking made th 90 seconds pass by soo fast because I was dreading the jogging part. But I still did it.

I was super tired and had a mindful of excuses why i shouldnt/didnt want to/didnt have to....but the new me prevailed and on went my pink new balance. I have to say that for a fleeting second as I broke into a sprint...I pictured myself jogging and looking good doing it. Although that may not be now, or anytime in the near future, it IS a possibility. That treadmill just may wear on me.

I have no excuse now to not exercise.. and the walking I was doing was for the last three weeks was NOT exercise. I mean it was something.. and thats better than nothing. But today was real exercise. It was the dripping, panting, swearing kind :) You know, the good kind.

Next workout on thursday.

Behold...I am an exerciser.

A neglecter I am...

I know.
I've been neglecting you. Im guilty. But I hope you'll forgive me when I report that although Ive been lazy at my blogging.. I haven't been lazy on my journey.

Proud to report a 3# loss this week.

Grand total three weeks in: 11.6#

You know whats funny? Im still kinda doing the same stuff. I go out to dinner with my friends, I cook big pots of spaghetti and meats of choice in the magic pots, I get the kids numerous snacks a day-- yet I don't even really feel tempted to eat off course. Its weird. Weird in a sort of I don't want to think about it too much and jinx it back to normal kind of way.

I also have a new found love for hot sauce. Ive been putting it on those veggie fillers that I eat to fill up my plate, and my belly. And Ive really grown to like it spicy :)

Alright. Time to announce my new challenge. This one may indeed kill me. I have been keeping my word and doing my exercise 3 times a week. I loathe that treadmill tho. Its right in my bedroom and it greets me every morning when I wake up. When I'm sitting here blogging or reading its whispering to me to suit up and jump on it. Occasionally I will even glare at it. I cant lie. I hate to exercise. I dont mind if its like yard work or playing with the kids or cleaning, etc. But the rigid, boring, walk for 20 minutes and end up in the same spot sucks sooooooooooo bad. And its right in front of the Tv so its not like it should be that bad. I don't know. I guess it just doesn't do it for me. So.. today I decided I might as well hate it worse and start a 5k challenge. I will start tomorrow. Today I will shop for cute treadmill worthy attire for jogging and try to mentally gear myself up. I vow to blog my progress and each session I complete. If I happen to drop dead.. I will have Tony post my obit that so you're all not waiting for my next update.

Can you imagine? Me? Running in a 5k? In public? In running attire?

Well I gotta start somewhere....

I'll post tomorrow after session 1. 20 minutes of alternating 90 seconds walking and 60 seconds running.

I'm also vowing to post before and after pictures of myself. I probably wont be all done by november, but I am going to post a picture on the 13th..the big day before I turn thirty as to what progress Ive made. Now if that's not motivating to start loving that damn treadmill I don't know what is.

Tomorrow, the love/hate affair between the treadmill and I begins.

Saturday Night Fever

Ugh.
I hate not being able to sleep for a multitude of reasons. For starters, I love sleep. I need to get as much sleep as possible because it till only be a couple hours before 1-4 of my offspring wakes up to: pee, request a drink, cry for mommy, yell out at somekind of dream, or make their way into our bed. Secondly, being up late gives me the munchies and I just used the last of my points on cantalope and blueberries.

I also havent had a Diet Coke for 2 days. No, no, Im not going cold turkey and cutting out diet soda too. Id be the biggest beeotch on the planet if I chose that route, and Id like to stay sane for the most of this process as well. I just ran out, and although I was at the store yesterday, I somehow forgot to replenish my current drug of choice.
So now youd think Id be extra tired because Im not getting any caffeine, but instead I am wide awake. And I know its not that late, and all of you who are young and energetic are scoffing at the notion that Id actually want to be in bed this early. Well youre wrong...I wanted to be asleep by ten...so Im even more of a lame-o than you thought. But after a long, hot day outside and in the pool, I feel drained physically but super alert mentally. I suppose here in a few Ill put on some news as it usually puts me to sleep.

Big day tomorrow. Home again with everyone so Ill be playing mommy's diner all day and having to cook each meal and it has to be something that everyone will eat, yet still WW friendly.

Excited for monday... hoping to have lost at least 1.4 pounds as that will put me up over the 10 lb mark.

More to come tomorrow.. SNL just came on and I havent been up late enough to watch it for a long time :)

Live from New York...its Saturday Night~

I can smell a hani a mile away..

Ok fattys..

If youre anything like me, and you know what a hani is, you probably understand the bliss you feel and choirs of angels you hear when youre in an establishment that serves them.

Traditionally offered by our friends over at national, today....here in Emmett, Michigan, I have recreated the hani in a weight watchers friendly way. Although I had to omit the mayo as I couldnt rationalize taking almost as many points for a condiment as I had to take for the actual protien, and I skipped the cheese as well-mostly because on Tonys he happened to dump and melt half the bag I had left of f/f cheddar so I was SoL on the cheese.

Here's how it played out:

One chicken breast which after baked weighed in perfectly at 4oz.

2 tsp of bakin' magic. Not sure why I even bought it but I knew id be baking alot more things and Im sure I would have needed some magic to make them tasty and Thank God for that little package. I shook the ckn breast in the allotted amount and it made it bake up with a sorta crispy outside and a taste somewhat comparable to the spices in a wrap from kfc. A perfect ruse as it didnt even fool my super picky tastebuds.

La tortilla factory...I love you. For one glorious point I can have one of your super delicious tortillas. It has like 100 calories, 1 gram of fat and 12g, yes thats 12g of dietary fiber. I know I can only count 5g but who cares as it comes out to one point and I will be wrapping my way to skinny jeans with these bad boys.

Boston lettuce. Oh how high end you make me feel. I am so glad you dont taste like iceberg as the only way to eat iceberg lettuce is smothered in ranch. But you, youre so green and crispy, and make my homemade wrap look and taste expensive. Well played friend.

Grape tomatoes and sugar free bread and butter pickles. The little bit of relish I made from you to give some moisture to this hani delight really surprised me. And for 0 points, you are now my new caviar.

Wrap...relish, lettuce, magic coated chicken.. with a side of parsnips with a little spray butter and splenda.

Hani=heaven.

If you havent been... visit soon.

And do it for 6 points.

Roadblock cometh..

I almost hit a wall yesterday. The stress level in our house is seriously through the roof. Theres the business stuff, personal stuff, kid stuff, life stuff, stuff stuff on top of that and ugh....
And theres food. There is sits with its inviting, warming glow.. whispering promises of instant comfort and relief. It makes you want to eat it. It makes you want to believe that you'd feel better if you grabbed that spoon and finished off the rest of a container of chocolate almond.

I fed my stress so many times in the past it was almost as if I didnt know what to do to not feel so down. My kids were sleeping, my hubby was engrossed in a TV show and I was sorting my coupons. I finally got up, drank a huge glass of water and went to sleep. I realized that even if I would have filled my face with something decadent and forbidden, I still would have been just as stressed. Actually probably even MORE stressed because it would have been the first time I would have cheated since I started this journey.

Need to snap out of it today somehow..not feeling the urge to eat but just feeling kind of blah.

Retail therapy needed. Will update status after therapy session over :)

Give me a P...give me an A...give me an R...give me a SNIP...

Yes. That's right.

I not only bought a white lovely carrot like vegetable...I cooked one and ate it too.
And I liked it.

I mean it wasn't a single of blue moon, or a slice of raspberry pie...but it was actually really good.

Maybe part of this whole journey is also about having a TRUE appreciation for food. Not just the LOVE for food itself, but the actual admiration that comes along with savoring each and every bite and appreciating textures and tastes for what they are. Funny thing is.. I don't really LOVE all the no-no foods that are out there. And when I compare them to the fresh and newly found love for delicious vegetables and fresh fruit..I wonder what the hype is all about? Is fried chicken really that great when all you taste is this magical blend of 20 spices and grease? How do you even know if that's chicken in there? What if its rat and that's why there has to be a zillion spices?

I tend to eat slower now. I sit and chew with thought. I actually LEAVE things left over on my plate. I know!! I don't have to eat every crumb AND lick the plate and I wont die. Theres a revelation every minute some days. :)

That spicy, crunchy root will serve as a milestone in this backpack journey till November.

I not only ate that parsnip....I embraced it.

125 days and counting.

Hey Ho Jennie-O...

Alright. So we all know that we can ALWAYS get ourselves a deal on food thats practically junk. You know.. the 10/10 at kroger that nets us $1 toaster pastries, $1 bags of cheetos, kroger donuts, and many other fried, sugar filled, empty calorie items inaccurately labeled "food". Thats not food folks. Thats garbage. Its delicious, I know. But theres a reason its so cheap. Theres also a reason why America is so rotund. Take 20 dollars in your local store and see what you can buy? Albeit, Krog does have some veggies on 10/10.. but spending a dollar on an english cucumber or a dollar on a box of toaster pastries doesnt seem like a hard choice for those americans who are trying to feed a family on a ever-so-tight budget.

Its no wonder we have an obesity issue. Supermarket chains make it soooooooooo much easier to stretch that dollar by filling our carts with shotty food stuffs instead of stuff thats good.for.us. The $1 loaf of bread is either a all white bleached loaf or a faux wheat loaf that probably jsut has brown food coloring to make it look "wheaty". I bought a loaf of 12 grain yesterday, it was 2.99. Thats a 1:3 ratio and more proof that we get punished financially trying to eat healthy. The chicken that was on sale 10/10 was fatty thighs and legs. The chicken breast was 10 dollars for a package of four. Generic concentrated orange juice was $1 for a half gallon where the simply orange was 2.99 a liter. Does that make sense? Do the supermarket chains NEED America to stay fat so they can stay in business? To hock their store brand donuts and potato chips for $1 each? Its sick.

Thank God for summer and for the local farmer markets and veggie stands. We have a local corn grower over here and the corn is phenomenal.. Its still in the bags from them picking it that morning. So looking forward to August.

So my new challenge for myself is to find a weekly deal somewhere to post about that helps all of us save on something that is HEALTHY for us. The deals are out there... and Im about to exploit my freezer and my freezer bags by snatching them up and reporting to you all.

Today's deal:

1st deal:

Silk soy yogurt 32oz big containers.
Reg price 2.99- marked down at Meijer to .75 a container.
Ive never had it, I might hate it- but I doubt it. Ill add some fruit and ice to it and throw it in the blender and the kids wont know the difference. I got 8. Some for me and some for a friend whose son can only have soy stuff. Into the freezer it went where it will keep well. Thats a 75% savings.

2nd Deal:
Jennie-O frozen turkey breakfast links and breakfast patties.

75% less fat than regular ground beef and super tasty in a healthy breakfast burrito or as a replacement for some fatty regular links at sunday brekkie.

Found 15 packages yesterday at my local SuperK. They were due to be sold/frozen by the 21st. They were regularly priced 3.49/package, but because of the sell date quickly approaching they had SuperK instant savings coupons of $2 off each package.

That made all 15 packages 1.39 each!!

Straight into the deep freeze they went. Where they will be fine and Ill use them one by one when needed. Love my deep freezer. Love that people are sooooo scared of reduced stuff. I mean if its fuzzy and green by all means avoid it. But if its not even that close to sell date (which doesnt even mean expiration date) and you have the freezer space.. Buy it. Throw it in there and start building your sexy stockpile of glory.

If armageddon comes.. head to my house for free soy smoothies and turkey breakfast sausage.



After thought: dear Jessica Simpson.. please dont be straddling your new boyfriend of the week. That picture of him clutching your ass and almost about to tip over while getting some help holding you up from another mysery hand does not help your crusade to become once again a normal woman. I know youre a wonderful size.. and you get harassed alot by the media for putting on and losing the same 10lbs. But stop getting caught doing the stupidest shit, stop trying to sing country music and forgetting lyrics half way thru, and stop hocking fake hair extensions. Take your earnings, move to italy, buy a villa and disappear.
Thank you,
Bre.