Dinner Day 1

Chili with tomatoes, green onions, garlic
Very yummy on a super cold night

Paleo Lunch Day 1

Paleo Lunch Day 1
Chicken Breast sauteed in a bit of EVOO
Broccoli with lemon juice
YUM!

Day 1.. The break-up... "its not you, its me."

So guess what? Ive let you all down once again.

I let life, and stress, and even breathing become more important than eating right, exercising and blogging my heart out to you all. And even tho I missed my daily blab more than I thought I would, still pushed it to the back of my brain and ate and ignored and ignored and ate, rinse and repeat. I HAVE NO EXCUSES! Soooooo... that brings us to today. And if you'll all still have me, I'm back at it with a vengeance and ferocity unmatched. Hold the reigns y'all... we are back on the wagon.

My dear weightwatchers. Altho you've worked for me twice now, I am falling out of love with you. Why, you ask? Why the heartbreak so close to valentines day? Why the break-up so cold and callous via blogger memo? Because. You don't teach me to stop eating shitty food. All you do is teach me to be creative and manipulate the system. I can still eat mcdonalds and taco bell and even LARD if I want to. And altho it comes down to some calorie equation only einstein could compound and evaluate, NO ONE needs to be eating those kind of foods. Maybe you are making my body littler, but with the points you alloted me, I could eat an egg mcmuffin meal for breakfast, cheeseburger meal for lunch (with diet coke of course) and taco bell fresco tacos for dinner AND still have enough points left for a mcdonalds 3pt ice cream cone. And even as a fat girl, any way I spin that I just cannot see the benefit to my arteries and skin and insides with eating all that schmoo. Including myself, I know more than 5 people who have lost a hefty chunk of weight on WW, gained it back, lost it again, etc etc etc. So before I proceed to regain all of what you've helped me lose, think its best that we part ways. Something is sill amiss in your programming as you aren't teaching this fat girl to eat (as matt would say) CLEAN. I know your new point system is a bit better, but when you give ANY fat girl the right and permission to eat as many fruits and veggies as she wants for O points, that's not helping. Guess what.. maybe Ill eat 10 bananas today for a whopping extra 900 calories. Plus all my points, plus a few of my extra weekly allowance. How that's suppose to help me lose weight is beyond me. And I know, I know, some of you are saying.. well its suppose to fill you up with the fruits and veg and then you ll eat less other foods. Right. And that sounds good. Actually it sounds fabulous. But that's not fat girls mentality. You cant give me permission to eat ANYTHING for no cost/detriment/point reduction. I obviously have will power issues. Duh. Id rather avoid your 1500mg+ of sodium smart ones that I'm hooked on and start eating salt free. I might get thin eating smartones/lean cuisines/lean michaelinas coupled with a DC,but I'm still gonna die early from hypertension. Enough is enough.

Hence the delightful picture posted above. Today this chubby chica is going Paleo! I know..it even sounds cool when you say it! I thought about it, googled it, read about it, rethought about it.. talked it over with Tony and I really think its going to be fun. ALtho when I told him we would have to cut out bread and pasta he was like "Do PEOPLE DO THAT?!?!" So for him, (hes totally not overweight and is in shape) he will get to have some pasta and bread along with the kiddos, but will have to suffer thru the whole grain kind :) I'm also going to post a picture of each meal I make cause the prettier I make it look the better my brain thinks it tastes (very important as there was no salt or pepper in the scramble and I love salt)

And most importantly, I'm going to start reporting to you all again. So prepare your self for some crying and ranting and raving as I believe bread is my soul mate and pasta a treat from God himself. It is time to get healthy from the inside-out. That might mean starting to raise a buffalo in the backyard for eventual slaughter, but rules are rules.

Time to get dirty bout eatin' clean.

Ugh Kroger..again you disappoint me.

Hi.
I'm Bre.
Nice to meet you....again :)

So.....Im back and Ive made new and exciting improvements :) Well Im WORKING on new and exciting improvements. Im trying to transition my WW daily points into a 70% raw lifestyle. For my first week I switched most of my daily snacks over to fruit, veggies, or popcorn (I know, its cooked- but Im not going cold turkey here). Had a couple small hiccups as I had guests over for 5 days so of course I was cooking up a storm to keep them happy and well-fed. But overall.. it wasnt a bad week. I got on the scale today and I weighed the same as the last time I had weighed-in.. which was like a month ago. Yikes. I know. Shame on me. I was so desperate to make the 40 pound mark by my bday party that I barely ate that week or drank for that matter. You can tell from my pics at the party.. at the beginning of the night im looking ok and by the end you can tell my cheeks are puffed up more than usual from all the DRINKING and eating i was doing. And then it just went on to turn into a WEEK of leftovers eating and pizza and drinking and uggggggggggggggggggggggggh... same old me. Same me that Im used to dealing with that I thought I had gotten rid of. But wow.. it only took some nasty eating for a few days and I started to rationalize it all again. So heres to you huge roadblock.. you won that time.

So......having thought about how I was for some reason getting stuck (even tho I have loads to lose still) I thought about eliminating some of the tasty snacks I was having (altho within points) and replacing them with regular old fruits and veggies. Also..starting my day out with a smoothie really seems to keep the hunger at bay..so I figure Id throw a smoothie in there at some point which makes my kids happy as well (and they dont even mind the veggies in there!)

I also read about a chocolate lovers diet in my mothers wonderful "womans world" she accidentaly left here (dont worry, she called to make sure I knew it was here and to save it for her lol) So I was also thinking about maybe getting crazy and trying that for a month and posting the results here too. I might as well turn it into a damn science experiment because to be honest with you.. i was getting BORED! I was eating the same stuff and snore snore...I wasnt blogging (sinner) and I was totally talking myself into shitt food choices and doing the minimum amount of exercise I could. Ugh.. sometimes I hate me.

But I digress...

So to do this fat girl gone raw transition, I need all sorts of grains and yummy fruits and veggies and agave and this and that and guess what?? KROGER has like 4 things I need. Their organic section is a frickin JOKE and its right by the wine aisle all by itself in a little kiosk. half of the stuff was reduced because who in the hell eats organic in imlay city where most of the people grow their own veggies and would rather remove a liver than pay 5.99 for a box of organic cereal. So I maybe able to score some good deals, but I also have to plan a trip down to Whole Foods. Its like an hour drive so Im hoping one day this upcoming week I will make it. If not, then it will have to be the week after next because the week after turkey day week , Tony and I are going on a mini vaca..(insert choirs of Angels singing)... and I want to look my best for that trip so Im hoping the raw foods Im substituting will start working their magic awfully quickly and Ill be a wrinkle free fox.

hahahaah............mommy always said I had an imagination!!!

Till tomorrow sweet readers..

Forgive..

forgive me for not posting in awhile.. life has gotten super crazy..

I will be back before you know it tho!!!


xoxo

Thought for the day (stolen from a friends fb status)

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you're meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are in yourself and others. May you use the gifts you've received and pass on the love that's been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love."

Anything more would be redundant.

A kick in the Ask...

So I have a confession. Ive been getting bored. Ive been sticking within my points but using them for garbagey food. Im not sure if its been because mother nature is here this week or what, but I am starving. Every minute I feel like Id like to eat a horse and spit out his hooves. Ive been filling my snacky hands with 1 pt popcorn, veggies, apples.. water and the go-to items. Yesterday, I didnt eat all day because the only things i wanted to eat were shitty garbage food. Is this suppose to happen? Is this the hurdle that Id always get too and then start eating crappy again and gain it all back? Ugh. I hope not. Thankfully this time I REFUSE to let that happen. Those 30 pounds were alot of work!!! And now that they are gone, I dont ever want to see them again. Its unfortunate that there isnt a "superfood" to help with damaged will power. We have the acai and blue berries and veggies galore that help us restore our bodies.. What about our willpower?? cant there be like a fat free, calorie free food that tastes like homemade bread fresh out of the oven slathered with butter, pizza, and chocolate cake with choc frosting?? In a capsule? I mean i guess my body does like to eat more healthful foods than not healthful. But when I am craving stuff (which I have been due to this week) alll I want is something I pry wouldnt even eat more than once a week if I wasnt dieting. Only i want it every day.. for brekkie lunch and dinner. its kind of sick. Today Ive only had a bowl of special K with unsweetened almond milk and some ice tea. Its so sunny out that all i want to do is grill up some ribs and some potatoes and steak and yummy delight. But Im scared that something cartoonish will happen... Like ill just pick up the whole grill, open my mouth, and swallow it whole.

Doesnt seem practical.. but lets face it, I am an eater.

It doesnt take much to make me want to falter.. if I hear someone else has went out to lunch or grabbed something off plan and tasty.. I IMMEDIATELY start to justify it. Like well if they are..then I could too and then just walk more or exert more./. and the rationalization begins. So far, Ive put it at bay. But Im disappointed that Ive used alot of my points for junky choices. Like cheese.. it costs me SO many points for like a handful of it. So not worth it... but I really wanted it the other day. SO I took 8 points for cheese. i could have had like a smart one and a fruit AND something else. I guess that is part of the beauty of WW, but its also part of the fact that Im trying to get rid of the bad eating habits.. or the eating for comfort habits... that got me in these plus size jeans to begin with.

I am nothing without support. And GOD he SO knows this (obviously). Like for example.. this has happened more than once.. Ill be in the middle of rationalizing away about how I should go here for lunch or make this and splurge on that for lunch.. and I will see someone who I havent seen in quite awhile... and they will compliment me on my weight loss or tell me that they read this blog and all of a sudden I get a reality check that HELLO!!! That burger aint worth it. Itll taste good for the 3 minutes max it takes me to eat the 4 inch circle, but then Ill feel yucky and be sad that I didnt utilize my points better.

I guess we all want this to happen overnight. But we didnt gain it overnight, right? It was years and years of bad choices and not enough activity that caused our fat cells to get greedy and start hoarding that water. But sometimes when I think that I have at least another 2 sizes to go, minimum, and another 5th grader that Id like to lose in body weight.. as much as Ive gotten cheers from people, and notes frmo people, and compliments from my hubs, I cant help but feel discouraged because in our modern society.. Im still a failure. if you didnt know I had already lost 30 pounds youd look at me and think.. wow shes alot bigger than in highschool. If you then found out I had just lost 30 pounds.. maybe youd be even more mortified. A girl I went to hs with told me the exact thing.. she said.. wait till you start losing and youre still looking at yourself like you look like a cow and here 30 pounds heavier you didnt think it was all that bad. Its called fat goggles. We get so used to seeing ourself a certain way, and then we start to accept it. But when we start to change our bodies for the better, we start realizing how we were on the road to ridiculousness.. with no end in sight.

Anyway.. thanks for letting me vent. Im in this to make you all proud too! I may have hit a little mental roadblock.. but I am in this to WIN this.. so back to hacking away at the jungle of diet and weightloss.. That cleared path of mindless eating and junky splurging might look easier.. but Im just not an easy kind of girl any more :) Im a little more like MacGyver.. only without the 80s mullet and the ability to make an airplane out of some dental floss and popsicle sticks.:)
xoxoxo