Monday Morning Weigh-in

So this morning I stepped on the scale. I had to hide to even get on there, even from my kids, as if they even know numbers that high. Its a bit of a bummer that its not an actual fact that if you ignore how much you weigh that it will eventually go away... and the proof was in the pudding this am and I have to admit I actually shuddered. But on the same note.. thats the highest my scale will ever say come today- aka D Day.

I didnt make it to the store last night- ended up watching tv with the hubs and eating chicken wings. I know.. Im sure you diet conscience people just threw up in your mouth a little.. but if I was going out with a bang I was dipping it into blue cheese. I washed them down with 2 mountain dews which now will be forbidden and I actually woke up with a headache.. as if my brain was saying- seriously? wings and dew? What are you 19 and in college? Speaking of college, I think Im going to try to take the time to figure out where and when my battle of the bulge started.

I know people like to blame it on genetics, but I think thats bull. Ive seen skinny girls with fat moms and in my case fat girls with skinny moms. My mom is 50 and shes got a flat belly, she also has an enviable hourglass figure. I apparently missed that gene train as well as Im shaped like a banana. Im not all crooked or anything or walked hunched over.. but I have a constant shape from top to bottom.. even when I was thin (as that time in my life did exist too). But I will do with what I was given and would be happiply reffered to as having a skinny banana shape.

I have fond memories of staying at my grandma's house, but do you know what half those memories are about? Half are about fun times in the yard, catching frogs, playing annie-I-over the shed, long walks in the woods picking wintergreen berries. The other half are all about food. Huge ice cream cones everynight before bed, mashed potatoes so laden with butter that gravy was irrelevant, fried chicken so good it rivaled the colonel himself.

Did food fill an undeniable void? Potentially.
Is it to blame for years of yo-yo dieting and bad eating habits? Nope.

Time to own the last 10 years or so and change for the better. Day 1 doesnt only represent the first day in this committment to a healthier lifestyle.... it just might be the first day I start figuring out who in the hell I actually am.